Grind has a point. Like, this one time, I was at a party talking to this white guy, and then wouldn't you know it, but I had to go powder my nose. So upon my return, I ran into a black dude I knew, and we got to chatting, and then the white guy walks by, and the black guy gets all pissed and I say what's wrong, and he tells me, that guy is such a effing racist, he called my 10yo son the n word last summer.
I of course pointed out that he was being nice tonight! I mean, he's not all bad. Just chill dude. You sound so shrill you'll make white people uncomfortable. I told him that sometimes I see a guy I know is a rapist in social settings, but I certainly don't mention it. As long as he's not raping at that moment, and he is even telling jokes entertaining the other men, then it is just in bad taste not to smile and be chill.