Late teens / early twenties is the period in one's life that ultimately define the person. For me, this period of my life consisted of denial of physical evidence to the point of sheer lunacy. The manner in which I thought of myself, others (particularly the irreligious), and society in general was terribly distorted. I was completely detached from reality. And yes, I also missed out on sex and weed; these activities came much later in life than usual.
Okay, but now that you have enjoyed all the indulgences you missed out on, has it fulfilled you? Has it provided contentment? Or do you feel like you are still searching for something that is missing? Are you really sure of your convictions, or do you feel the need to reinforce or validate them? You don't have to answer that here, just think about it to yourself. If you are honest with yourself, you know that what I am saying is true. You wouldn't be here posting this thread, if you were content and comfortable in what you believe.
Social pressure. Even today, I won't admit to my family and older friends that I am an unbeliever.
That's because you are not sure that what you believe is the truth. You are ashamed to admit this to your family/friends because you lack conviction in what you believe. This should serve as an indicator that you really do have some questions about what you've chosen to believe.
The "problem" you have is not religion. It is your deep-seated desire to be accepted by others. This can be caused by all kinds of things from your youth... did both of your parents work? Were they preoccupied with their own problems and not concerned with yours? Did your parents divorce? Again, no need to answer those questions, just think about them, and whether they may apply. Something has caused you to believe it is crucially important to be accepted by others, to the point of an obsession. When you are in the truth of your own spirituality, acceptance of others is trivial and meaningless, because you are fulfilled by your understanding of something greater than self....and greater than acceptance by others.
I am in a committed, healthy relationship. I'm proposing next month. Does that answer your question?
That's fine, but I didn't really ask a question, I was only making some observations. For the record, people who are unhappy and discontent can be in relationships and get married. People who have an obsessive need to be accepted, also get married... often, this is the REASON they do. You're searching... longing... for something that is missing. You've tried sex, drugs, partying, etc. but still, you don't feel satisfied or content... perhaps marriage will bring that? OR so you believe.
Now, I don't want to make assumptions about your relationship, you know if you truly love this person and want to spend the rest of your life with them, I can't possibly know your heart. But I do know, a LOT of people make the mistake of thinking marriage will fill that void in their life and bring them happiness, only to discover this is not the case. Happiness comes from within, from your healthy connection to your spiritual consciousness.
That's great for you, but it does nothing for me. It is completely subjective. For all I know, you are lying about this "spiritual force"...or you've deluded yourself, as I once did. You expect me to provide "proof" for everything I say, and then you have the audacity to write the above. Unbelievable.
Well, I can prove that I am not lying, that a spiritual force does exist. Or better yet, I can show you how to prove this to yourself, and you won't have to believe me, you'll know without a doubt. It begins first, with a commitment to follow the plan through in good faith, to the end. Unless you are honestly willing to do that, it won't work. I need 3 months... 90 days... and in the end, you will believe and know the supernatural force I am speaking of. Now, just from a philosophical standpoint, a few months is not much of a sacrifice for a lifetime of contentment and happiness. It's not a bad deal, if it works, right? Here's the plan...
First of all, there is no dogma, no 'religious' belief system, no 'chanting' unless you feel so compelled. It's a really simple ritual. Twice a day, once in the morning when you begin your day, and then again at the end of the day, before you lay your head on your pillow... Meditate. During your meditation, block out everything else around you, it helps to do this in some private place you won't be disturbed. During meditation, reflect on recent things that have gone wrong in your life, and examine how your attitude or disposition, may have played a role in the outcome. Would something have been better if you had not gotten upset or angry, but had chosen to approach it with a more positive mental attitude? Reflect on things that you could have done differently, and how your mindset, your frame of mind, your prejudices (not in a 'racial' sense, but rather a 'pre-determined' sense) may have been a factor in outcome, and how you might have approached those situations with a better more positive and inspired form of thinking. I would say, at least 30-45 minutes is a good meditation period. And nothing is set in stone on this, if you don't have time in the morning, do it on your lunch break.. many times, I have spent my lunch hour in my car, seat reclined back, looking as if I were napping. Some people like to light candles or turn on music while meditating, but music with lyrics should be avoided, as it tends to distract your mind. But candles (fire) and music, are very powerful spiritual connectors, this is why they are beneficial. Aroma is another powerful spiritual connector... incense or things like that, can be good. It's really a matter of personal preference, if you have difficulty focusing, you might try those things, and also it helps to be in a low-light environment, if possible.
Now that we've taken care of the 'ritualistic' part, let's focus on the exercise. Each day, make a list of three things you are going to do for someone else today. Positive things, of course.. don't decide you're going to slash your neighbor's tires for him... Think of people you love or admire, and then think of something you could do (not say...but DO) to show them. Think of someone you have sympathy for, and find something you can do (not say) to help their situation. Come up with at least three solid things each day, and then do them. Do them without any expectations, or any anticipation of thanks or reward, but just because you genuinely want to do this. Selflessness is a rewarding spiritual experience, in a matter of a few days, you will begin to feel something happening to you as a person. Three things a day, keep that up!
Okay... now it's time to teach you how to surf the positive energy wave. That sounds funny, but really, it's quite similar to surfing. "God" or the supernatural driving energy force, is flowing through our entire universe, and beyond. Think of this as the waves in the ocean, constantly streaming in to the shore. If you just stand in the ocean, the waves will knock you down... and you can get back up and continue to ignore them, but they will continue to knock you down. You can be as defiant of the waves as you wish, but you will tire long before the waves tire. BUT... If you remove your feet from the sand below, and learn to go with the flow of the wave, something amazing happens, it's no longer a struggle, you are no longer overwhelmed or frustrated, things go easier now...you're moving, you have purpose and direction... this is what tapping in to your spiritual energy achieves.
Every decision and choice you make, has some intrinsic attachment to positive or negative energy. Our conscience is a sometimes crude barometer of this. Think about every decision and choice you make each day, focus on making choices and decisions with positive energy flow as opposed to the negatives. Concentrate on not disrupting the flow, but going with it. On 'moral' choices... do what you honestly believe in your mind is the appropriate thing to do, disregard what others think, and don't lie to yourself, be honest. Try to systematically eliminate the 'bad habits' you have, and replace them with 'good habits' or things that have positive energy. Set a goal to eliminate something 'bad' each week, and replace it with 'good' ...and again, I put marks around 'bad' and 'good' because this is for your conscience and you to honestly determine, not me. All circumstance is different, and it is almost impossible to predict or predetermine, where the positive energy flow is, at any given time. This is why the meditation is very important. The key is being honest with yourself, and following through with determination and action.
Follow this plan for 90 days... then come back and tell me with all honesty, that you do not believe in a supernatural entity greater than self. For most people, the realization comes within a few days or weeks, and it is a very difficult plan to stick to, we get lazy and don't want to put forth the effort, or we become discouraged because we don't see immediate gratifying results.... but IF you can make yourself do this for 90 days, it's like exercise, you're hooked for life. The benefits are absolutely immeasurable, and indescribable to someone who isn't in the spiritual truth. Once you've had this experience, you will not just be a "believer" of something, you will KNOW, and there will never again be a question in your mind.
