You know as well as I do that biblical literalism is a real thing in American Protestantism, and that the term bible thumper used in the thread title does not refer to humanist christians, liberal Christians, or any person who reads the Bible as allegory, metaphor, or literature.
Sure, I understand Biblical literalism. But, I don't think that represents the "traditional conservative conception of God." You are confusing two different groups of very different sizes. Also, many who claim they believe the Bible literally still accept some leeway in its interpretation.