well first lets get one thing out of the way, it is a fact that a majority of americans support gay marriage, which was what we were originally discussing, and which I have proven with dozens of polls.
As to your second question, "why does it always lose in votes," well - it doesn't.
17 states now have legalized gay marraige. Ten years ago we were only at 1.
All of the following states enacted it via either their legislators or by direct ballots to the people:
vermont
new hampshire
new york
washington state
maine had a ballot question
maryland was passed by their legislature and upheld by their voters
rhode island
delware
minnesota
hawaii
illinois.
And the states where the courts declared it unconstitutional to not allow it (mass, ct, cali, nm, iowa) all had popular citizen support anyway.
I mean, it's pretty ridiculous to think you are winning this fight. A majority of americans support gay marriage, nearly 1/3rd of the states in 10 years have now fully legalized it, and undoubtedly it's going to be happening in even more states as well.