Is Care over here??? :) Or others can give advice too...

Runyon said:
Yes I was. By the same token, if you can't explain something, you probably shouldn't try throwing the terminology around. If it was supposed to be 'tongue in cheek', you should make that clear.
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he's been told that several times before, but he just doesn't get it. He thinks we are all mind-readers.
 
LadyT said:
If she's just a friend and you want no romantic involvement with her, I'd go with a bottle of champagne and tulips and a nice card from hallmark.

If you are trying to woe her then you're looking for something that will pop and have her notice and think about you. If you really want to bowl her over give her letter and tell her how you feel about her and how wonderful you think she really is, diamonds typically for me.

http://www.kay.com/webapp/wcs/store...01*10001*-1*171709001*15053*15053.15064.15122

Those are called journey necklaces. Maybe you can weave something into the letter about your journey with her and give her that as a nice gift. Personally I'd go with something a little bigger though. A lot of times JC Penny has a clearance sale to die for.
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I can't go away for two days without you starting trouble can I?

The girl is married. Diamonds not a good idea. She'd have to hide them from her husband. Geez, you are such a troublemaker.

I'd call a high-end salon in her area and get her a gift certificate for a facial and a spa pedicure. That's what I got for my sister-in-law when she had her second child, my wonderful little pumpkin of a nephew. And she really loved it. She saved it for when she was ready to feel like a sexy woman again.
 
After learning this, I'm going to have to stop chiming in every five seconds with ridiculously cheesy messages of love (love, love, all you need is love).
 
Watermark said:
Well, I'm serious. If she's married then my comments weren't just extremely odd to the point of being mildly (not really) amusing, they were downright innapropriate for the situation...
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No, I shouldn't have assumed that, and it's really nobody's business so I hope I didn't bring up something inappropriate.

And here I called Tiana a troublemaker. Boy is she going to have the last laugh on me.
 
He specifically mentioned that she will be a single mother, and that it wasn't his.

There are meal services, and maid services. Either one of them is an appropriate gift for a newly minted mother who will have little sleep, or self-time to clean or to cook.
 
Damocles said:
He specifically mentioned that she will be a single mother, and that it wasn't his.

There are meal services, and maid services. Either one of them is an appropriate gift for a newly minted mother who will have little sleep, or self-time to clean or to cook.
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Opps, I missed that part. Sorry. I didn't read the whole thread, my total bad.
 
Battleborne said:
however anyone who looks for advice on love matters in a forum is really Freudian in nature...unless this person actually knows the people whom they are asking advice from...which I seriously doubt...
:rolleyes:
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I've known him for 4 years come this December.

Desh is right, we do know eachother quite well, after 3-4 years, and respect one another, even though none of us are on the precise page politically!

And Ron is not some wimp needing internet advice...He's an extremely smart and level headed man, pretty set in his ways, and is about as intelligent as humans come!

He was only asking etiquette from me and because I am older, and he knows I would probably know what was proper did he ask...and i had not been posting on the other site for a while cuz my plate's been full with other boards lately....

Also, I usually give pretty sound advice! :D
 
I've changed my mind on the tulips or bonsai tree after reading more of your comments and I think the absolute best gift you could give her Ron, is ........
yourself....fly out there for a week or two, to be with her when she gets home with the baby, she will appreciate YOU, much more than flowers! ;)
 
Care4all said:
I've changed my mind on the tulips or bonsai tree after reading more of your comments and I think the absolute best gift you could give her Ron, is ........
yourself....fly out there for a week or two, to be with her when she gets home with the baby, she will appreciate YOU, much more than flowers! ;)
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Yeah yeah yeah. You do that and then you become her big brother who she confides to and loves, like a brother. Then some guy with brand new Wayfarers and a Porsche starts treating her like crap, but she stays with him and laments on your shoulder, while she longs for him and clutches her dreams of marrying the douchebag. .
 
Beefy said:
Yeah yeah yeah. You do that and then you become her big brother who she confides to and loves, like a brother. Then some guy with brand new Wayfarers and a Porsche starts treating her like crap, but she stays with him and laments on your shoulder, while she longs for him and clutches her dreams of marrying the douchebag. .
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I see a problem in the real father still being in the picture, but I'm very conventional. I see a new baby, a post partum mom and wonder why anyone would suggest anything that would bring more stressors to the situation.

To my way of thinking; flowers, plants, spa stuff, maid all are to help the mom; the idea of confrontation doesn't fit in these parameters to me.
 
Runyon said:
I see a problem in the real father still being in the picture, but I'm very conventional. I see a new baby, a post partum mom and wonder why anyone would suggest anything that would bring more stressors to the situation.

To my way of thinking; flowers, plants, spa stuff, maid all are to help the mom; the idea of confrontation doesn't fit in these parameters to me.
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I agree. You make a gesture, show concern and care from a distance, show love from a distance, and then the door is cracked and the invitation set. She knows where you stand, but she's not put to some decision by a personal visit.

Of course, this is all generic, Ron's situation might warrant something more personal or not. I haven't talked to the guy in about a year so I don't know, but it seems to me that action at a distance is the best route.
 
Care4all said:
She's 2000 miles away, hard for RS to pull off! ;)
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I am moving back to Tampa. My nephew and a second cousin are flying out here Wednesday and then we are driving most of my stuff my back. We'll take time on the ride back and stop at a few places, going to show them SF, do Monterey again, then Sequoia, the Grand Canyon and whatever else I can think up on the way. We are going to take 40, I think. Through Amarillo (see the Cadillac garden), OK City, Little Rock, etc.

Anyway, she is due Aug 4. I come back here on the 7th, boss talked me into staying a couple more months after I had made plans and we have some big launches, one project has languished for ten years, and I would like to be able top say I helped them finish that one up. Hoping to get back to Tampa in October.

I really like it out here, but mom is getting old (65) and she could be in better health. Plus I got my nephew there, who I have already missed a lot of time with and other family.
 
RStringfield said:
I am moving back to Tampa. My nephew and a second cousin are flying out here Wednesday and then we are driving most of my stuff my back. We'll take time on the ride back and stop at a few places, going to show them SF, do Monterey again, then Sequoia, the Grand Canyon and whatever else I can think up on the way. We are going to take 40, I think. Through Amarillo (see the Cadillac garden), OK City, Little Rock, etc.

Anyway, she is due Aug 4. I come back here on the 7th, boss talked me into staying a couple more months after I had made plans and we have some big launches, one project has languished for ten years, and I would like to be able top say I helped them finish that one up. Hoping to get back to Tampa in October.

I really like it out here, but mom is getting old (65) and she could be in better health. Plus I got my nephew there, who I have already missed a lot of time with and other family.
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If you are coming through CO, stop in Denver and we'll have a beer.
 
Darla said:
No, I shouldn't have assumed that, and it's really nobody's business so I hope I didn't bring up something inappropriate.

And here I called Tiana a troublemaker. Boy is she going to have the last laugh on me.
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LOL. I just assume anytime you say something like "Good point Water", you're being sarcastic.
 
RStringfield said:
I am moving back to Tampa. My nephew and a second cousin are flying out here Wednesday and then we are driving most of my stuff my back. We'll take time on the ride back and stop at a few places, going to show them SF, do Monterey again, then Sequoia, the Grand Canyon and whatever else I can think up on the way. We are going to take 40, I think. Through Amarillo (see the Cadillac garden), OK City, Little Rock, etc.

Anyway, she is due Aug 4. I come back here on the 7th, boss talked me into staying a couple more months after I had made plans and we have some big launches, one project has languished for ten years, and I would like to be able top say I helped them finish that one up. Hoping to get back to Tampa in October.

I really like it out here, but mom is getting old (65) and she could be in better health. Plus I got my nephew there, who I have already missed a lot of time with and other family.
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It sounds like all the pieces are falling together, tell your commitment phobic "friend" that you dont wish to control her life just share it.
A child Always wants to feel someone wanted to be their parent even if its not the biological parent.
It sound like you are at the point in your life that you are ready to take on family.
One thing has been eating away at my brain since you fist posted this.

That is the other child she has.

You mentioned that he was almost a teenager and that with teenagers all you do is offer them shelter.

It is a delicate dance to raise a preteen and teenager.

You have to reajust your stance every couple of weeks if nessesary.

They are evolving all the time and need different things from you all the time.

It is far from easy but very rewarding.

Always treat them with respect and find ways to make the two of you laugh.

They really need individual attention and they need to know you think they are very capable and precious.

You will find yourself saying often to yourself " I dont know if Im doing this right".

This young person in the equation should be dealt with very carefully.

Abolish the notion that you just give them shelter.

It is the chess game of parenting and little ones are just the checkers.
 
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