jesus isn't real and he's going to kill you

guys i always post the most random shit before going to sleep. I posted this one at 1am. and now it has 60 responses and it was the most non sequitur ever, lol
 
PostmodernProphet said:
if "that" which is not physical infuses itself into something physical, wouldn't it at once be the same, yet different?....it is still "that", yet now it is physical when before it was not....
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It is Gnosticism, they didn't entirely kill it off. They just wrapped it up in a new package!
 
PostmodernProphet said:
if "that" which is not physical infuses itself into something physical, wouldn't it at once be the same, yet different?....it is still "that", yet now it is physical when before it was not....
Click to expand...
And when it moves upon the waters it is incorporeal. Was it Jesus that appeared before Adam, or did He wear a different skin when he was saying, "They would become like Us?.." and who was "us"? Why was the plural used to describe the Elohim when speaking of God?
 
Grind said:
guys i always post the most random shit before going to sleep. I posted this one at 1am. and now it has 60 responses and it was the most non sequitur ever, lol
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Jesus is just all right with me. :nolovejesus:



[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDuR6wddQ4I"]YouTube - The Doobie Brothers - Jesus Is Just Alright (Live 2004)[/ame]
 
A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
 
Mott the Hoople said:
A little girl is standing on top of a cliff, looking down at the sea and crying her eyes out. A priest approaches and says, "My child, why are you so upset?"

The little girl turns to him and says, "My mummy and daddy were in their car -- and it just rolled over the cliff and smashed on the rocks down there."

The priest slowly looks around him while unbuttoning his cassock and says, "It's just not your day, is it?"
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Oh, dear lord, where do you get these?
 
The other day the new priest in town came over to see me. Said he had an urgent problem. He told me that he was new to doing confesionals, that Father Bob, ussually did them. Well today he was doing the confesional for the first time when says Mary Jean Kilpatrick comes in and starts confessing. Apparently she had gone out drinking with a man not her husband and had given him a blow job.

"Jesus, Joseph and Mary!" say's the the new priest "What pennance do I give this woman for this sin? What am I to do?"

Well Father Bob wasn't around so he came over to my place and tells me the predicament that he's in. Then he asked me, "Do ya know what Father Bob ussually gives for a blow job?"

I said "Well.....usually he just gives a coke....but sometimes I get a candy bar too."
 
Mott the Hoople said:
The other day the new priest in town came over to see me. Said he had an urgent problem. He told me that he was new to doing confesionals, that Father Bob, ussually did them. Well today he was doing the confesional for the first time when says Mary Jean Kilpatrick comes in and starts confessing. Apparently she had gone out drinking with a man not her husband and had given him a blow job.

"Jesus, Joseph and Mary!" say's the the new priest "What pennance do I give this woman for this sin? What am I to do?"

Well Father Bob wasn't around so he came over to my place and tells me the predicament that he's in. Then he asked me, "Do ya know what Father Bob ussually gives for a blow job?"

I said "Well.....usually he just gives a coke....but sometimes I get a candy bar too."
Click to expand...
Groan!
 
Damocles said:
And when it moves upon the waters it is incorporeal. Was it Jesus that appeared before Adam, or did He wear a different skin when he was saying, "They would become like Us?.." and who was "us"? Why was the plural used to describe the Elohim when speaking of God?
Click to expand...

John says ""In the beginning was the Word ... the Word was God ... all things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made" (Jn 1:1-3)" Word is a name he uses repeatedly for Jesus Christ...

Paul says "in him [Christ] all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or principalities or authorities — all things were created through him and for him. He is before all things, and in him all things hold together" (Col 1:16-17).

John 8:57Then said the Jews unto him, Thou art not yet fifty years old, and hast thou seen Abraham?

58Jesus said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Before Abraham was, I am.
 
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