Your dread, and your denial, are completely transparent. You just realized that your deeply-held religious beliefs were all a sham, masterfully choreographed to manipulate you politically. You have to face just how gullible you were. You have just learned the disappointing truth that you are a scientifically illiterate moron, when your church had you convinced that your faith in Climate Change bestowed upon you great wisdom that naturally made you smarter than everyone else and empowered you to speak for "Science". You actually attempted to mock others who knew much, much more than you. You were gullible and stupid.
Of course you're going to be bitter. Of course you are going to be angry and confused. Of course you can't admit to any of this.