Men: to give space or NOT to give it

Solitary said:
You too, USC? They seem so sweet at the beginning.

I don't think men are particularly good communicators. But I think we are more direct.
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I agree! Some women stay sweet, well most of the time, anyway...
 
DigitalDave said:
Women: We are not women, don't try to read us. Most of the time, when you think we are trying to beat around the bush and have some alterior motive, we really don't. Most of the time we are telling you exactly how it is, you just can't believe we would be telling you exactly how it is because you don't understand how that works. When I tell you my balls itch, I am not telling you I have an STD, I am merely telling you my balls itch, and that is it. I usually warn you to let you know I am about to scratch them in public. It is up to you to step in front of me to block the view of the rest of the public, or if you could care less, let the whole world watch me scratch my nuts. If I have to argue with you about scratching my nuts, I will scratch them anyways because they just freakin itch. It isn't an STD, they just sweat... a lot!
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Good luck with that...
 
Good Luck said:
It is my experience that women, even when younger, use a "circumspect" way (ie: indirectly, using clues, hints and other non-direct methods) of requesting what they desire. Now perhaps that is because their desires are more likely to be abstract, based on emotional want, and are more often not satisfied with something concrete. But regardless of why, women do not state their desires and needs in a direct manner. It seems to be almost a constant test of their male partners and/or spouse to see how well the partner/spouse knows them.

The desires of men may often stem from the same emotional needs that women have, but they are expressed very differently. Though there has been a trend for change in recent years, men are still taught to not express their emotions openly. But if a want/need can be expressed without referring to an emotion, you can bet it will be stated openly. For instance, if a man wants a new truck (which he is never going to admit even to himself stems from a feeling of inadequacy), he is going to say he wants a new truck. And if the desire IS based on a self-recognized emotional need, then men will find a way of asking for that need without the emotion. For instance, if he wants some physical, non-sexual contact (rare, but does happen), he'll ask to have his back scratched or something similar that requires attention and touch from his female partner.

This is true until a man is married, and learns expressing such base wants directly is more likely to get him a withering look of disgust from his wife, or even land him on the couch for the night than get him what he wants. In which case he learns to approach those wants more, shall we say, "circumspectly". But they STILL won't admit to, or even indirectly refer to the emotional need that prompts the desire.
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Good god what kind of women do you guys keep picking?

I really wish the guys who pick cruel and pshyco women would quit trying to say all women are like the cruel and pshyco women they keep choosing.
 
Desh said:
Good god what kind of women do you guys keep picking?

I really wish the guys who pick cruel and pshyco women would quit trying to say all women are like the cruel and pshyco women they keep choosing.
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Truisms are called truisms for a reason, Desh. Exceptions are there just to prove the rule.
 
Do most women really change how they treat their husbands for the negative after they are married?

"This is true until a man is married, and learns expressing such base wants directly is more likely to get him a withering look of disgust from his wife, or even land him on the couch for the night than get him what he wants. In which case he learns to approach those wants more, shall we say, "circumspectly". But they STILL won't admit to, or even indirectly refer to the emotional need that prompts the desire."


I just have a hard time believing most women are like this.
 
Desh said:
Do most women really change how they treat their husbands for the negative after they are married?

"This is true until a man is married, and learns expressing such base wants directly is more likely to get him a withering look of disgust from his wife, or even land him on the couch for the night than get him what he wants. In which case he learns to approach those wants more, shall we say, "circumspectly". But they STILL won't admit to, or even indirectly refer to the emotional need that prompts the desire."


I just have a hard time believing most women are like this.
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Well, I am on my second marriage. My first wife and I get along very well. But the women I dated between my two marriages were all crazy.

I have had my car headlight kicked in, my life threatened, my belongings searched, friends called and threatened, heirlooms thrown away or destroyed, been humiliated at work, and more.

Speaking from personal experience, there are plenty of psycho women out there.
 
Desh said:
Maybe you should shave worked it out with the first wife?


Oppps I just remembered the story sorry.
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That she left me for my sister-in-law? Yeah. Having things in common with a spouse is great. But having certain things (like a fondness for women) just doesn't help.
 
Solitary said:
Well, I am on my second marriage. My first wife and I get along very well. But the women I dated between my two marriages were all crazy.

I have had my car headlight kicked in, my life threatened, my belongings searched, friends called and threatened, heirlooms thrown away or destroyed, been humiliated at work, and more.

Speaking from personal experience, there are plenty of psycho women out there.
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Did you cheat on her?
 
Solitary said:
That she left me for my sister-in-law? Yeah. Having things in common with a spouse is great. But having certain things (like a fondness for women) just doesn't help.
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Yes your first marriage does prove you can have just too much in common in a realtionship.
 
LadyT said:
Did you cheat on her?
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Nope, never cheated on any of them. Been accused of it a lot, but never did. One had a problem with my outgoing personality. She thought I shouldn't talk to everyone. One was just bonafide nuts.
 
Solitary said:
Nope, never cheated on any of them. Been accused of it a lot, but never did. One had a problem with my outgoing personality. She thought I shouldn't talk to everyone. One was just bonafide nuts.
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hmmmmm that's rather drastic behaviour for simply thinking someone is cheating. It definitely feels like you're leaving out a lot.
 
LadyT said:
hmmmmm that's rather drastic behaviour for simply thinking someone is cheating. It definitely feels like you're leaving out a lot.
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I am perfectly happy to take my lumps when I have done something wrong.

But in this situation I am leaving nothing out. It was a gradual buildup to the extreme behaviors, but it was just nuts.
 
I had one friend that flipped out one night. It was like we had been living in two different friendships all those years. That was the only genuinely craziness that I've experienced by anyone close to me.
 
Threedee said:
I can never understand how a man can be so stupid that he forgets his anniversary. I mean, usually that date came about after months of planning out of a year of your life... but, whatever...
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Well ... :o let me begin by saying that we'd had some real heartbreak with our dogs over the two years preceding this time last year. We lost two within less than two months of each other -- one from a congenital disorder; he was just two, and our older guy from doggy MS. Then my beautiful little border collie female had a tragic accident at home and died. We now have another border collie, along with our Aussie. So last year we were extremely excited about our BC's first birthday. We had toys, a special meal, lots of playing, the entire weekend was for him. We were so wrapped up in the dogs that we completely forgot that our anniversary was the day after his first birthday. I remembered when I went into a friend's office and saw the bouquet of flowers her husband had sent (their anniversary is the same day as ours).

So it wasn't just my husband (who is horrible with dates). We both forgot, though we feel it was for a very good reason. We'll remember this year! It's the day after Barley's birthday! :)
 
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