Tell a joke, riddle, or just something funny (non-PC)

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A silicon valley tech CEO is having a party at his huge mansion on the Cali coast. It's a weekend event for the scrubbed and monied. A couple of hours before the guests are to arrive. the plumbing backs up. The toilets are about to overflow, and the water pressure has dropped to nothing. Panicked, he calls a plumber who says he can be there in a few minutes.

The plumber arrives and after about an hour of snaking drains and fixing the water pressure everything's working again. The CEO's party is saved!

The plumber is figuring up the bill and hands it to the CEO.

"Goddamn! I'm a tech company owner and I don't make that kind of money!" the CEO exclaims looking at the bill.

The plumber scratches his ass and shrugs. "Yea, I hear you. I didn't make that kind of money running a tech company either. That's why I took up plumbing."
 
Primavera said:
80,000 Americans died and 900,000 were hospitalised just two years ago from flu including the most virulent Type A version of H3N2, so why didn't you arseholes call for the total destruction of the world's economic system then? I hope you have plenty of time to ponder over that when you all lose your houses, jobs and relationships!
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Exactly! I was sick with that crap then and the hospital was full, and the emergency room was full also. No one wore any masks, no dictators shut down businesses and the virus was contained.
 
Two old men, a priest and a rabbi, were sitting on a park bench feeding pigeons. They'd been good friends since childhood and stayed friends throughout each of their vocations.

One day the priest says to the rabbi, "Adam, have you ever eaten ham?"

The rabbi pauses and says, "Yes. One time some gentile friends invited the wife and myself over for a Christmas party. There were lots of hors devours offered and, so, yes, I ate some ham".

Both men were silent for a few seconds when the rabbi said to the priest, "John, have you ever had carnal knowledge of a woman?"

The priest paused for a second then said, "Yes. There was one time while I was still in seminary, before I took my vows, when I met a young woman. One thing led to another and, so, yes, I've had carnal knowledge of a woman."

Both men were silent for a few seconds then the rabbi nudges the priest and says "Better than ham, wasn't it?"
 
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