The Offensive Thread...

Darla said:
I don't have any man jokes, which will surprise AHZ since he thinks that I am a man-hating feminazi.

I have one, but it's more of a anecdote than a joke, because it sums men up.

Why did the man cross the street?

Who knows, why do they do anything?
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Because the bank where he was going to deposit his check that is 25% larger than the woman who does the same job at his place of work was accross the street. There he was meeting with a friend from another place of work also depositing a check fatter than his female colleagues, then they were going to the restaurant next door. There they were going to sit on the patio so they could watch as women passed by and talk about whether or not they would 'do' them and why and whether they needed paper sacks or flags in order to 'do' them.

Then they were going to talk about the feminazis and other fundamentally important subjects such as football.
 
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."

To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)

The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.

The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.

The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.

Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
 
DigitalDave said:
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."

To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)

The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.

The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.

The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.

Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
Click to expand...
The one that has red hair because he is turned on by her.
 
Damocles said:
Because the bank where he was going to deposit his check that is 25% larger than the woman who does the same job at his place of work was accross the street. There he was meeting with a friend from another place of work also depositing a check fatter than his female colleagues, then they were going to the restaurant next door. There they were going to sit on the patio so they could watch as women passed by and talk about whether or not they would 'do' them and why and whether they needed paper sacks or flags in order to 'do' them.

Then they were going to talk about the feminazis and other fundamentally important subjects such as football.
Click to expand...

LMAO

Yep! I am not surprised.
 
DigitalDave said:
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."

To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)

The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.

The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.

The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.

Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
Click to expand...

LOOOOLLLLOOOLL!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! ROFLROFLROFL!!!!

:d :d :D :D hahahahahaahHAHAHAHA! omgz I CAN'T STOP LAUGHT!
 
DigitalDave said:
An office manager was sent three secretaries, equally qualified, to fill one vacancy. "Well," thought the manager, "I'll give them an honesty test to determine which secretary to keep."

To this end, he gave each secretary a money bag to take and bank telling them that there was $50 in the bag. (In fact, he had placed $100 in each bag; thus the honesty test.)

The first secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50 and returns the extra $50 to the manager.

The second secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks the full $100, and returns with a deposit slip as proof.

The third secretary goes to the bank, discovers the extra money, banks $50, goes to the local TAB and uses the $50 to win $300, then returns, explains to the manager and gives him the all the money.

Question: Which secretary does the manager select to retain?
Click to expand...


The one with the big boobs?
 
what do you tell a blonde with 2 black eyes...
nothing, you've already told her twice

a blonde was caught speeding by a blonde police officer
the officer asked the speeder for her drivers license
the speeder asked what is a drivers license
the officer said it was that little thing in her purse with her picture on it
the speeder found her compact, opened it and saw her reflection in the mirror, she handed it to the officer
the officer opened it, and said, 'why didnt you tell me you were a police officer, you can go'.
 
Good blonde joke there crash I will edit it though.

a neocon was caught speeding by a neocon police officer
the officer asked the speeder for her drivers license
the speeder asked what is a drivers license
the officer said it was that little thing in her purse with her picture on it
the speeder found her compact, opened it and saw her reflection in the mirror, she handed it to the officer
the officer opened it, and said, 'why didnt you tell me you were a police officer, you can go'.
 
What turns a 90 lbs weakling into a 160 lbs man of steel?
Polio

Whats the differance between a pair of panties and a cop car?
A pair of panties hold only one cunt
 
Damocles insulted someone! That happens often, but he's the boss so few complain.-instead, they laud him for it.
 
doniston said:
Damocles insulted someone! That happens often, but he's the boss so few complain.-instead, they laud him for it.
Click to expand...

Nope damo seldom insults people, he does disagree but seldom insults.
I know, I have deserved insults from him ;)
About the worst he does to me is call me disingenious.
 
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