Complaint Thread. Dedicated to doniston

Damocles said:
My question has always been why name your son after a food you can't even eat?
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Noah must have had cause to despise him. Nowadays there's always the option of changing one's moniker utilising the tools of officialdom, but not for young Ham. Bearing in mind that in those days of healthier diets and simple living the average lifespan was around half a century at least.

That's 500 years of Ham hanging round your neck.

Then again, he may have had brothers called 'smoked back', 'trotters' and 'pork scratching' but they were written out by the publishers due to the increasing price of paper after the floods wiped out all the trees.
 
charver said:
Noah must have had cause to despise him. Nowadays there's always the option of changing one's moniker utilising the tools of officialdom, but not for young Ham. Bearing in mind that in those days of healthier diets and simple living the average lifespan was around half a century at least.

That's 500 years of Ham hanging round your neck.

Then again, he may have had brothers called 'smoked back', 'trotters' and 'pork scratching' but they were written out by the publishers due to the increasing price of paper after the floods wiped out all the trees.
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No, you have to read the story, Noah was 800 years old when the flood hit. Oh, you mean half a millenia, not a century.

Got it.

Yeah, the tree shortage likely was the cause of removing all the other brethren, or the fact that they weren't invited on the little boat trip.
 
So the finishing touches to his ark were done at the age of 800?

Are you listening old people? Get up off you bony old behinds and get back to work quicksmart. Old people today, they don't know they're born.
 
uscitizen said:
Noah lived before trans fats.
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Who is this 'Trans Fats' of whom you speak?

Probably one of these hippety-hoppity musical youths - all big trousers and ladies jewellery a hollering about cheeses and whatnot. Young people these days, they don't know they're born.
 
My toaster was playing up like nobody's business this morning. I am contemplating taking a hammer to it, although why it should choose to toast a hammer when it fails miserably on the more conventional sliced bread, God only knows.

End of complaint. Carry on.
 
charver said:
My toaster was playing up like nobody's business this morning. I am contemplating taking a hammer to it, although why it should choose to toast a hammer when it fails miserably on the more conventional sliced bread, God only knows.

End of complaint. Carry on.
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Does anyone make a good toaster that toasts the second load like the first one ?
We can put men on the moon but a good toaster seems to somehow elude us.

This is a crisis of epic proportions.
 
My manicure never lasts the entire week. I see women who have manicures that do last, and I don't know if they're doing something that I don't know about to make it that way. I'm resentful.
 
Darla said:
My manicure never lasts the entire week. I see women who have manicures that do last, and I don't know if they're doing something that I don't know about to make it that way. I'm resentful.
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Stop taking a hammer to it, I hear that hammers are better toasted anyway.
 
Every time I am in the grocery store, I walk up to the registers and try to pick the line that looks like it's going to go the quickest. As soon as I pick one and am there just long enough to be invested in it, the cashier's red light starts blinking. There has been some cashier emergency and we have to wait for the "supervisor". No one ever knows where the supervisor is. Sometimes, I start to cry when I see that light.
 
Darla said:
Every time I am in the grocery store, I walk up to the registers and try to pick the line that looks like it's going to go the quickest. As soon as I pick one and am there just long enough to be invested in it, the cashier's red light starts blinking. There has been some cashier emergency and we have to wait for the "supervisor". No one ever knows where the supervisor is. Sometimes, I start to cry when I see that light.
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They only do that so they can look at you longer. There's some geek, looking over the hidden cameras, as soon as you pick a line he waits just long enough for you to become invested..... then WHAMMO he flips a switch, all their credit card machines go down for about 5 minutes....

Just don't ask me what he is doing in the interim.
 
Damocles said:
They only do that so they can look at you longer. There's some geek, looking over the hidden cameras, as soon as you pick a line he waits just long enough for you to become invested..... then WHAMMO he flips a switch, all their credit card machines go down for about 5 minutes....

Just don't ask me what he is doing in the interim.
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Gee thanks! I needed that thought in my head.
 
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