Like I said, God's farts.
Definitely God's farts.
Dear Uncle D,
You inspired me to offer this translation that I herein customised especially for you Uncle D and your 'self-realisation'...
The Nature of the
Fart is described in the famous Bhagavad-gita.
Here are some verses from the Bhagavad-gita that I have condensed to explicitly highlight what is described as the individual Fart’s characteristics:
The
Fart continuously passes its time in a body; the
fart’s essence is continuously unchanged during one’s lifetime passage from childhood to youth and then into old age, and similarly, the fart passes into another body at death.
For the material body there is only limited endurance, thus all temporal “transience” equates to “nonexistence,” or in other words, “Not Really Real”.
On the other hand,
For the
Fartthere is no change, thus, the fart is eternal.
The fart pervades the entire body. The fart is indestructible.
No one is able to destroy that imperishable fart.
For the
Fartthere is neither birth nor death at any time.
The
Farthas not come into being,
The
Fartdoes not come into being, and
The
Fartwill not come into being.
The
Fartis unborn, eternal, ever-existing and primeval.
The
Fartdoes not die when the body dies.
The
Fartis full of knowledge, or full always with consciousness. Therefore, consciousness is the symptom of the
fart. Even if one does not find the
fart within the heart, where the
fart is situated, one can still understand the presence of the fart simply by the presence of consciousness.
The
fart is indestructible, eternal, unborn and immutable.
Just like putting on new clothes, and giving up the old clothes, the
fart, at the time of death, similarly accepts new material bodies, giving up the old and useless ones.
The
fart can never be cut to pieces by any weapon, nor burned by fire, nor moistened by water, nor withered by the wind.
The
Fart is individual, the
fart is unbreakable and insoluble, the
fart be neither burned nor dried. The
fart is everlasting, present everywhere, unchangeable, immovable and eternally the same.
The
Fart is invisible, inconceivable and immutable.
A person who has taken birth is sure to later confront death, so similarly, after death a person is sure to take birth again.
All created elements and forms and forces and creatures and events are un-manifest in their beginning, manifest during their interim state, and un-manifest again when annihilated.
Some look on the fart as amazing, some describe the fart as amazing, and some hear of the fart as amazing, while others, even after hearing about the fart, cannot understand the fart at all.
The fart who dwells in the body can never be slain. Therefore you need not grieve for the death of any living being.
The indestructible, transcendental the
fart (the living entity) is known to be a spark of “Brahman”, and the
fart’s eternal nature is called, “Self.”
All the variety of actions performed pursuant to maintenance of the material body [that is animated by the presence of the fart] is called karma, or fruitive activities.
Whatever state of being one remembers when the
fart quits the body, that state the
fart will attain without fail.
And whoever, at the end of the body’s life, while exiting the body, remembers Godhead alone, at once attains that destination. No doubt.
From the highest celestial realms throughout all of the temporal material cosmos down to the lowest stratums of life, all are places of “duality” where the misery and repeated birth and death along with temporary passages of pleasure take place.
Great farts, those yogis in devotion, never return to this temporary world, which is full of miseries, because they have attained the highest liberation. (Bg 2)
This is the ancient yoga system, formerly known to the great sages. It is serviceable and practical in every way.
When the
fart is attracted by the material nature, this is called conditioned life.
But when that same consciousness of the fart is attached to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, one is situated in the consciousness of liberation.
When the
fart is completely cleansed of the impurities of lust and greed produced from the false identification of the body as “I” and bodily possessions as “mine,” one’s mind becomes purified. In that pure state the yogi transcends the vagaries of material so-called happiness and distress.
At that time the fart can see himself to be transcendental to material existence and always self-effulgent, never fragmented, although very minute in size.
In that position of self-realization, the
Fart sees everything in the right perspective; becoming indifferent to material existence, and the material influence acts less powerfully upon him.
Perfection in self-realization cannot be attained by any kind of yogi unless he engages in devotional service to the Supreme Personality of Godhead, for that is the only auspicious path.
Every learned man knows very well that attachment for the material is the greatest entanglement of the spirit fart. But that same attachment, when applied to the self-realized devotees, opens the door of liberation.
In the state of pure consciousness, one can see himself as a minute particle non-different from the Supreme Lord.
The individual
fart, is eternally part and parcel of the Supreme Lord. Just as the sun’s rays are minute particles of the brilliant constitution of the sun, so a living entity is a minute particle of the Supreme Spirit.
As the sun alone illuminates all this universe, so does the living entity, one within the body, illuminate the entire body by consciousness.
The individual
fart and the Supreme Lord are not separated as in material differentiation. The individual
fart is a particle from the very beginning.
Spirit cannot be divided like a fragment of matter. The individual Fart, is eternally a part. As long as the Supreme Spirit exists, His part and parcel individual Farts also exists. As long as the sun exists, the molecules of the sun’s rays also exist.
The size of individual
Fart particle is estimated in the Vedic literature of India to be one ten-thousandth the thickness of a strand of hair. It is therefore infinitesimal. The Supreme Spirit is infinite, but the “Living entity” Fart, or the individual fart, is infinitesimal, although it is not different in quality from the Supreme Spirit.
The individual
Fart, by its constitutional position, is qualitatively the same as the Supreme Spirit, but is an infinitesimal part and parcel of the whole, the Supreme Spirit.
It is said that both the individual fart, and the Supreme Spirit live together within the heart. In the Vedic version it is stated, (hridi hyayam atma…) the
fart and the Supreme fart both live within the heart. The individual fart is liberated when it comes out of the material heart or cleanses the heart to make it spiritualized, exactly as fire, arising from wood, burns the wood itself.
The individual living
Farts, are parts and parcels of the Supreme self-effulgent Lord, and are also of the same quality.
The Supreme Lord diffuses His bodily effulgence which emanates from His transcendental body. (SB 3.25)
Who else but the gross materialists will neglect such transcendental thought and take to the nonpermanent names only, seeing the mass of people fallen in the river of suffering as the consequence of accruing the result of their own work? (SB 2.2.7)
“The Supreme Personality of Godhead becomes the Original Person to initiate the expansion of this cosmos. He is the perfectly pure goal that yogis strive to reach, the effulgent and infallible ultimate controller. Measuring the size of a thumb, the Supreme-fart is localized within the hearts of all living beings. By exercising proper intelligence, one can realize Him within the heart; those who learn this method will gain immortality.” Svetasvatara Upanisad (3.12–13)
A
fart who, at the time of death, fixes his life air between the eyebrows and, by the strength of yoga, with an undeviating mind, engages himself in remembering the Supreme Lord in full devotion, will certainly attain to the Supreme Personality of Godhead.
The yogic situation is that of detachment from all sensual engagements. Closing all the doors of the senses and fixing the mind on the heart and the life air at the top of the head, A
fart establishes himself in yoga.
After being situated in this yoga practice and vibrating the sacred syllable om, the supreme combination of letters, if a
fart thinks of the Supreme Personality of Godhead and quits his body, he will certainly reach the spiritual planets.
After attaining Me, the great farts, who are yogis in devotion, never return to this temporary world, which is full of miseries, because they have attained the highest perfection.
From the highest planet in the material world down to the lowest, all are places of misery wherein repeated birth and death take place. But a
fart who attains to My abode, O Arjuna, never takes birth again.
