The Spouses

Desh said:
That is a hard way to go. Sorry to hear about it Jarod.

I hope all goes well with the delivery. Babies are such a joy.
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I love Babies... I cant wait for another one. Tummy time is my favorate!
 
Jarod said:
Thanks, to my suprise, it has not been as hard as when I innitially found out he was sick, 10 months ago.

Pancratic Cancer is a terrable disease.
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I'm glad you had some time to work through some of it before it happened. When my father went... well, it was hard.

I'm glad you have something to look forward to.
 
Jarod said:
Thanks, to my suprise, it has not been as hard as when I innitially found out he was sick, 10 months ago.

Pancratic Cancer is a terrable disease.
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My condolensces jarod.

I know what you mean. I was actually sort of glad (in a wierd way), and at peace when my Bro died of cancer. He went through so much pain for so long, that I was relieved when his suffering ended.
 
Damocles said:
I'm glad you had some time to work through some of it before it happened. When my father went... well, it was hard.

I'm glad you have something to look forward to.
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Thanks, how did you loose your father? I assume this will get harder, maybe because I have so much going on all the sudden, with the baby coming and all, it has not hit me its hardest yet. That being said, the hardest part yet was when he told me he had terminal cancer. I spoke with him everyday for 10 months, took him and his wife to the Bahamas for a week and visited him every month. We had a very good Christmas and Thanksgiving together and he mercalously had no pain on those days.

Getting a 10 month headstart helped us to cheat death of one of its best evils, not giving you a chance to say goodbye.
 
Cypress said:
My condolensces jarod.

I know what you mean. I was actually sort of glad (in a wierd way), and at peace when my Bro died of cancer. He went through so much pain for so long, that I was relieved when his suffering ended.
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I dont sleep with the phone next to the bed anymore, and I dont jump everytime it rings. I can consentrate on making plane that are not contengent on my father needing me anymore.
 
Darla said:
Desh, you sound like you have the patience of a saint. I am a true Aquarius in many ways. They say about us that we love humanity, but can't stand people.

I'm similar about kids. I love them, and I actually do work to protect them. My heart breaks and I literally sob when I read of one being harmed in any way. I would put my own life on the line to protect any child, and I believe that adults in any society are morally charged with protecting its young. I would give up my own life for either my niece or my nephew in a heartbeat, but...they are the only two kids I can stand to be around for long periods of time, and even then I'm often happy when my brother is coming to pick them up. Though, less so as they are getting older.

I cannot stand to be in a store and hear one of them screaming. I can think of almost no hell worse than being in a household filled with them through some "blended" family. The woman is at fault for getting herself into that position, you may be assured I never will. but I feel for her reaction to it.

And Desh, I'm not a bad person.
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I never thought you were. Im with you on the made her own bed deal.

I know people who would never have a rugrat arround and are completely sure they made the right decsion by never having one and have always been nice to my son. No one should have a kid just to have "done that thing".
Im was one of 8 kids and my parents managed to screw up their lives pretty well finacially so we moved every year often in the middle of the school year and being low on the totem pole (number six) I felt very lost in the fray. The ones younger than me came years later so I was a built in baby sitter. I have to admitt I love kids and can really get into at that age that every one else hates. Those terrible twos. Its at that age when they start to think about where their power in the world is. I love to see a kid look at the world and say" Move because here I come". I love to talk to them and show them the world will make room for them and that they need to remember that they are part of the world and need to make room for the next guy. I love to challenge them to be wonderful people and they always step up to the challenge as far as Ive experienced.

Many people have found my son to be a easy kid to be arround. He always felt respected and felt an equal to others so he treated them as such.

I am looking forward to living a kidless life here pretty soon but with the little nieces and nephews coming along Im sure it will keep me in touch with this little world.
 
Damocles said:
I'm glad you had some time to work through some of it before it happened. When my father went... well, it was hard.

I'm glad you have something to look forward to.
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It can be amazingly hard.

My dad had a anyurism a coupld of years before he died and then went pretty suddenly.

I thought I was prepaired but I realized later I had intellectualized all my feelings about him and then ended up facing the pure emotional empacts.

They are very complicated realtionships and run so deep.
 
Jarod said:
Thanks, how did you loose your father? I assume this will get harder, maybe because I have so much going on all the sudden, with the baby coming and all, it has not hit me its hardest yet. That being said, the hardest part yet was when he told me he had terminal cancer. I spoke with him everyday for 10 months, took him and his wife to the Bahamas for a week and visited him every month. We had a very good Christmas and Thanksgiving together and he mercalously had no pain on those days.

Getting a 10 month headstart helped us to cheat death of one of its best evils, not giving you a chance to say goodbye.
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I got a call one night. I had to show up to the hospital and tell them to turn off the machines that were keeping his meat alive. He knew he was dying for well over a year, but he never told me.
 
Damocles said:
I got a call one night. I had to show up to the hospital and tell them to turn off the machines that were keeping his meat alive. He knew he was dying for well over a year, but he never told me.
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I would think that would be much harder than what I had to do. I was prepared to turn off machines, he asked me to if it came to that, but it did not come to that as we did not take him to a hospital.

He stoped eating about 8 days before his death, he stoped drinking that last three days. He slowly left us and then faded away last monday at about 2pm. His wife took the best care you could imagine and hospice was amazing.

Damo, how long did it take before you were able to get to a place where you found some normalcy in your life again?
 
Jarod said:
I would think that would be much harder than what I had to do. I was prepared to turn off machines, he asked me to if it came to that, but it did not come to that as we did not take him to a hospital.

He stoped eating about 8 days before his death, he stoped drinking that last three days. He slowly left us and then faded away last monday at about 2pm. His wife took the best care you could imagine and hospice was amazing.

Damo, how long did it take before you were able to get to a place where you found some normalcy in your life again?
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Geez. It was a long time. I was devastated. I can't describe it.

I wish he had told me, it would have helped. Every time I asked if he had gone to the doctor and what he said he would say, "He said I'll be okay."

I was working 7 days a week and not visiting as much as I should have or would have if I had known....

It was years before I ever got past the anniversary of his death without noting it and feeling extra depressed...
 
Damocles said:
Geez. It was a long time. I was devastated. I can't describe it.

I wish he had told me, it would have helped. Every time I asked if he had gone to the doctor and what he said he would say, "He said I'll be okay."

I was working 7 days a week and not visiting as much as I should have or would have if I had known....

It was years before I ever got past the anniversary of his death without noting it and feeling extra depressed...
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I am sure he thought he was protecting you by not telling you.
 
My dad died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 16.
I was not home at the time and never got to say goodbye.
5 children still at home. If not for SSI survivor benefits we would have been on welfare.
 
uscitizen said:
My dad died suddenly of a heart attack when I was 16.
I was not home at the time and never got to say goodbye.
5 children still at home. If not for SSI survivor benefits we would have been on welfare.
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People forget that SS also gives this protection.

That is a tuff age to lose your Dad were you the oldest boy?
 
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