May 12, 2017
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Okay, yesterday I covered some of trump’s ancient trump-ups. Because trump has wallowed in so much recent incompetence, I feared that people might have forgotten the golden oldies of a few months ago. I hummed along to hits like how trump would have won the popular vote if not for busloads of Mexicans, followed by his crowd-size-matters tantrum following his Inauguration. I looked back at how he alienated old allies and then put on a display of self-mocking hypocrisy with his frequent, tax-payer funded golfing extravaganzas. I laughed along with you, as we recalled the failures of his absurd health-care plan and the spanking he got with his Muslim ban. Remember the Keystone Kops Nunes Affair, when trump did an early attempt to influence the investigation against him? And, I ended yesterday with trump’s ongoing buffoonery about Obama bugging him in his golden tower (as opposed to Putin bugging his golden shower). Moving on with the list of clustertrumps:
9.) Swamp the Drain! I present a heavily abridged look at some of the creatures trump brought into his nest of ineptitude and corruption. In no particular order: a) “Grizzly” DeVos, Mullah of Education. So dumb she was surprised she got showered with boos at a commencement speech. b) Steve “Pepe” Bannon. ‘Nuf said. c) Sure Rick Perry could not remember the name of the agency he now heads, but I am informed he is getting much closer to finding the building. d) How about those Press Secretaries? Nobody does a better Melissa McCarthy impersonation than Sean “Bushes” Spicer. Sarah “Huckleberry” Sanders was cursed with her father’s looks, but you gotta love the way she stood in for Sean: “When did Comey tell the president he was not a target of the investigation?” “Nunya damn business, Nosey!” e) Sebastian v. Gorka. Never heard of him? He’s on the National Security Advisory Staff. The lower case “v” as the middle initial is how he and the other members of the HUNGARIAN NAZI PARTY display their solidarity. f) Have you heard about trump’s minders? These are people trump hired to watch various department heads for loyalty to trump. No, I’m not making that up. One of these minders graduated from high school in 2015. Maybe that’s the one they have watching Rick Perry. g) Jared “Flack Jacket” Kushner. Continuing the nepotism that led to business failures in every enterprise other than laundering foreign money, trump put his son-in- law in charge of … everything. trump was impressed with the boy’s success as a career inheritor. Reminds trump of himself. h) Seems like I’m forgetting somebody. Oh yeah, li’l Mikey Flynn. Because Obama failed to properly vet Mikey, we got a whole barrel full of trump-ups, culminating in the current Comey fiasco. The latest there is trump throwing Huck Sarah under the bus after trying to blame the Jew made trump look like the lying coward he is.
10. Syria. There is nothing American voters love more in a president than when he blows something or somebody up. Takes a trump to screw that up. After getting the predictable hugs and kisses, it came out that the warning of the Russians and the lack of effective damage meant trump had really just put on a $60 million fireworks display.
11. Russia, Russia, Russia. Seems that no matter how much Putin hurts him, trump cannot resist that bad boy. Women! We got a spectacular trump-up the other day. While everybody was once again reacting in shock to Comey and trump’s Putin lust, the orange dumbass was busy sucking up to Russian ministers, including the one that got Mikey and Beauregard and others in hot water. Worse, after trump denied American media access to the photo op, they ended up displaying prominently the pictures of trump kissing up to the Russians from RUSSIAN MEDIA who were allowed in. What a maroon!
12. trump is even managing to lose his base of mouth-breathing Deplorables. Recent Quinnipiac Poll showed trump’s “approvals” at 36%. 58% disapproval. And, that was done before the Comey fiasco. Of course, we are talking about “family values” voters who fell in love with a serial groper with a soft-core porn model for a wife. So, as long as he keeps offering a scapegoat in every pot, I don’t think his approvals can fall below 30%. Of course, and in spite of a long history as a warning, I have under-estimated trump’s nit-witted boobery before.
So, there you have it. Chances are good I left out one of your favorite trump idiocies, but I had to make this a two-parter as it is. What can I say to those of you who are agonizing over what the narcissistic psychopath is doing to the country? Well, as the Regressive Congressman said to the rape victim, you might as well lay back and enjoy it.
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