I've got the lovely and infamous NJ turnpike just 10 minutes from my front door.
Kayaking and sailing in brownish/black water just 30 miles or 3 hours in standstill traffic et voila! If you're lucky you can get a free needle in that deal.
2 hours west during the winter season you can hit up the slopes and ski with townies.
Cancer clusters just 20 minutes from my door step
Occassionally brown drinking water.....right at my door step
Two headed fish 1 minute from my doorstep
Jewels I tell you....real jewels......
LOL: And who could turn down a visit to the scenic landfills and refineries of northern new jersey!
On the positive side, I'm sure you have me totally beat on restaurants, clubs, and stuff like that