Pressure
- Thread starter Timshel
- Start date
I never thought of it that way, but I think you're right about that.
And I agree with the first statement too. I'm just glad postpartum depression is getting the attention it needs now. Apparently millions of women have been completely miserable after the birth of their children, but so few people ever really talked about it before.
evince
Truthmatters
Darla you are discounting millions of years of human designing. Im telling you the hormones do 80 % of the job.
Well, if you have to, you have to. And if circumstances dictated that I had to be, I'd do what needed to be done too. Are you going to go back to work once the twins get into grade school?
So is my choice to not have children unacceptable Desh? Am I less of a woman than you are for it?
If I sat here and described to you the personal joy I feel every day when I do one more thing I didn’t think I could do, mark one more accomplishment…would that make me an unnatural woman?
Is the only valid joy a woman can gain from life, that which she can achieve through childbirth and rearing?
evince
Truthmatters
No Shit?
Hell maybe I was designed to be a stay at home.
I have to admitt I loved it. The freedom was just bitchen to me. I could on little notice take my son to the beach or Disney land or the local water park.
I would rent a van and gather up half a dozen neighbor kids and take them to the beach for a few days and have as much fun as they did.
I guess coing from a family with 8 kids and having only one kid myself just made it seem like a piece of cake.
its got to be something. It always amazes me when parents talk about their kids who are obvious fvck ups and who clearly have below average IQs. "Johnny is really a good kid" (meanwhile the kid hits his parents, curses, and disrespects all forms of authority), "Sam is really smart but....." (meanwhile Sam is 17 y/o and in the 9th grade).
I think prior to giving birth its best to accept the fact your life as you know it and love it has come to an end and you're expected to put the kids before anything you're heart desires: work, relationships, dreams, etc. And you need to understand that you will be on call 24/7 for the 18 years. Once you accept that, any joys or a happiness that you experience will be an unexpected bonus.
That's the only way to get through motherhood. That and wine.
TexasMeg
the observer
I am contemplating going back this fall. My son will start a half-day autism program offered through the school district in September. Most of me really wants to go back, but I don't like the idea of the twins to be separated all day every day this early. She is his best therapist and they would miss each other so much. Assuming I can figure out a way for them to stay together at least partial days, and I can get therapists to travel to him, I will be going back to work.
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evince
Truthmatters
Oh Darla hell no.
I was a stay at home in a generation where I was looked on as wasting my life. I still get it to some extent. There are hormones though and they were fun for me anyway. I know there are women that have a hell of a time with post partum and struggle horrible problems with breast feeding like cracked nipples and the like.
I think people should choose for themselfs and looking at your familys history can help determine if you are likely to see the same benifits I was lucky enough to enjoy. I think I must have come from a long line of Irish farmhand breeding stock. I truely had none of the drawbacks surrounding pregnancy and childrearing that some experience. I know it is often politically incorrect for a woman this day an age to enjoy it as much as I did but I think people still need to hear it is a vailid choice that can bring you a fullfilled life. So often anymore women see it as negative thing. It really can be the right choice for some women.
I truely did enjoy it and it will always be some of the happiest times in my life.
evince
Truthmatters
How very true.
A dog will need you the rest of its life.
A kid will have to learn to live without you.
But the problem is, I do not know how to make it any clearer that I do not view it as a negative thing. I have said it in every post I made on the subject. I applaud you and your choices. I do not look down on you or your choices.
But they’re not good for me. Not because I’m superior to you, nor inferior to you, just because we are different.
Epicurus
Reasonable
Well played, Sir.
Maybe you can work part time as a start or work at a place with flexible working arrangements. My company is really good with working moms.
its a tough choice to make. some of the questions u must be asking yourself:
? - what do you think will be best for the autistic one? utilizing a specialist for autism or keeping the kids together and working with them yourself.
? - can u financially afford to not work if the autistic one has to go to special school
? - eventually they will be separated when they start school... but they always are together as family when school not in session.
Maybe you can figure out something to do from home. Did you know that thousands of people make livings by selling stuff on Ebay? Seriously. And you could buy things that you have an interest in. Like if you love antiques. You can buy them and then write enticing descriptions of each piece, and sell them on Ebay.