Totally tasteless jokes, one liners, quips, and other assorted goodies!!

I Love America said:
How do you know? Are you a mind reader?
Click to expand...

i know because there have been casual times where you have shouted out the n-word with impunity.

You also used the n-word a lot of times in those jokes about in spots where it wasn't really neccesary to do so.

Am I a mind reader? Far from it man. What racists like you don't understand is how easily appearant your racism is to everyone else. I mean that with absolute sincerity. It's like you have the word "racist" tattooed on your forehead and everyone can see it in a split second, but you've never looked in a mirror. It's like the part of your brain that is responsible for self awareness has been removed.

I used to really dislike a member here named Poet. He was insufferable and annoying, easily on the top 5 list of my most disliked posters here of all time. He was also african american. We argued a lot, but guess what? The thought never even entered by mind to call him the n-word. Not to "teach him a lesson" or "prove a point." I have to point this fact out to you, but normal people will have the response "so what? of course that shouldn't even occur to you"

What you don't understand is that when you use words like that you aren't just insulting the person you are directing it at (which is in itself extremely vile) but EVERY other minority status person that would read those slurs. Again, this is something obvious to the non-racist, but probably is blowing your mind right now.

No one has to be a mind reader to see you for the racist that you are.

Want the ultimate proof? Start a poll here asking if you, ILA, are racist.

When the results come back with people voting that you overwhelmingly are:

The non-racist ILA will have the response of: "wow, I have been misread by everyone here, I really need to adjust how I say and convey things, and prove to people that I am not a racist, I am going to work towards a better perception of myself, and apologize to any of those that I have inadvertently offended, that was NEVER my intention."

The racist ILA will just ignore the result, or laugh, or make some snarky comment, and tell everyone to fuck off.

We already know what you will do, don't we?
 
What's more fun than stapling babies to a wall?
Ripping them off again.

Why do you unload a truck full of babies with a pitchfork?
So you can tell which ones are still alive.

How many dead babies does it take to make a bottle of baby oil?
It depends on how hard you squeeze them.

Why did the dead baby cross the road?
It was chained to a bumper

What's the difference between a watermelon and a dead baby?
A watermelon floats.

What bounces up and down at 100mph?
A baby tied to the back of a truck.
 
Grind is Dead said:
i think the most disconcerting thing about ILA's jokes is we all know he's basically serious and not joking.

people shouldn't be surprised when people make a thread specifically designed to be offensive though.
Click to expand...
Well it just really, really bothers me when someone makes lame racist jokes about anyones ethnicity.

Well, except the Irish of course.
 
pisskop said:
Anyone know any cracker or American jokes?
Click to expand...
Here's one that's funny and true (for the most part).

What do you call someone who speaks three languages?
"Multilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks two languages?
"Bilingual".

What do you call someone who speaks one language?
"An American".
 
The federal government is trying to decide whether The FBI, the CIA, or the Los Angeles Police Department is the most effective at apprehending criminals. The issue is to be decided with a test - a rabbit is put in a forest and each organization has to find it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation, they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads, they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: "Okay! Okay! I'm a rabbit! I'm a rabbit!
 
OK, here's an American joke that's a true story.

A reporter once asked Mahatma Ghandi "What do you think of American civilization?" Ghandi said "I think it would be an excellent idea!"
 
Grind is Dead said:
i know because there have been casual times where you have shouted out the n-word with impunity.

You also used the n-word a lot of times in those jokes about in spots where it wasn't really neccesary to do so.

Am I a mind reader? Far from it man. What racists like you don't understand is how easily appearant your racism is to everyone else. I mean that with absolute sincerity. It's like you have the word "racist" tattooed on your forehead and everyone can see it in a split second, but you've never looked in a mirror. It's like the part of your brain that is responsible for self awareness has been removed.

I used to really dislike a member here named Poet. He was insufferable and annoying, easily on the top 5 list of my most disliked posters here of all time. He was also african american. We argued a lot, but guess what? The thought never even entered by mind to call him the n-word. Not to "teach him a lesson" or "prove a point." I have to point this fact out to you, but normal people will have the response "so what? of course that shouldn't even occur to you"

What you don't understand is that when you use words like that you aren't just insulting the person you are directing it at (which is in itself extremely vile) but EVERY other minority status person that would read those slurs. Again, this is something obvious to the non-racist, but probably is blowing your mind right now.

No one has to be a mind reader to see you for the racist that you are.

Want the ultimate proof? Start a poll here asking if you, ILA, are racist.

When the results come back with people voting that you overwhelmingly are:

The non-racist ILA will have the response of: "wow, I have been misread by everyone here, I really need to adjust how I say and convey things, and prove to people that I am not a racist, I am going to work towards a better perception of myself, and apologize to any of those that I have inadvertently offended, that was NEVER my intention."

The racist ILA will just ignore the result, or laugh, or make some snarky comment, and tell everyone to fuck off.

We already know what you will do, don't we?
Click to expand...

You sure put lots of thought into that. Fortunately I don't care what you or anyone here thinks. Like most shallow people you focus in words.
 
I'd just come out of the shop with a roast beef sandwich, large chips,
ear of corn & a jumbo sausage. A poor homeless man sat there and said
'I've not eaten for two days.' I told him, 'I wish I had your will
power.'

- - - - -

I took my Biology exam last Friday. I was asked to name two things
commonly found in cells. Apparently "Blacks" and "Mexicans" were NOT
the correct answers.

- - - - -

Snow in the forecast and the TV weather gal said she was expecting 8
inches tonight. I thought to myself, 'fat chance', with a face like
that!

- - - - -

A 10-year Old Irish boy stands crying at the side of the road. A man
passing by asks 'What's wrong, lad?' The boy says 'Me ma died this
morning.' 'Oh bejaysus,' The man says. 'Do you want me to call Father
O'Riley for you?' The boy replies, 'No tanks mister, sex is the last
ting on my mind at the moment.'

- - - - -

Japanese scientists have now created a camera with such a fantastic
shutter speed that it is now possible to take a photograph of a woman
with her mouth closed.

- - - - -

I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you
could look at an unattended bag on a train or bus and think to
yourself. I'm going to take that.'

- - - - -

I had a big lead in a trivia competition at a local bar until the last
question which I got wrong. The question was where do women have the
curliest hair? Fiji was the correct answer...hell, how did I know they
wanted the name of a country?
 
What do a blonde and an F-16 have in common? They both have a cockpit.

Why are they burying blondes in y-shaped coffins? Whenever they lie down they spread their legs.

A man enters a bar with his pet crocodile and bets everyone money that he can stick his dick in the crock's mouth for one minute. Sure enough, after one minute, he grabs an empty liquor bottle and smashes it over the crock's head. The crock snaps its head open and the man pulls his dick free, entirely unscathed. "Now, who else thinks they can do that?" he asks the crowd. Timidly, a blonde raises her hand and says "I'll do it, but you better not bash my head like that!"
 
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