What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?
- Thread starter charver
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Dixie - In Memoriam
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Bob Dylan- Things Have Changed
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
I caught some of Barack Obamas big speech on the telly this morning. He is very good at talking, isn't he? Pity about the not saying very much part but at talking he is definitely most excellent. I was also lucky enough to witness the Republican response. Some people may criticize their choice but i think it made an important public statement to America that the Republican party is changing. I think the Democrats were even taken aback by the choice of that mentally handicapped Indian lad to deliver such an important set-piece speech. It was ever so cute that he thought he was the actual Governor of Louisiana, bless.
I'm all for the disabled getting their share of the spotlight. Unfortunately, in some circles, there seems to be a reticence to even admit that we wander round this planet together with lots of people with missing limbs, an inability to walk or see, or something else which marks them out as a little different. Earlier this week we heard that parents of young children had been ringing the BBC to complain about the presence of a kid's TV presenter who was born without an arm. Apparently it "frightened their children"
I don't know about you but she sure does scare the knackers off me.
Of course what these concerned fathers mean is that when they switch on children's programmes, staffed by young blonde twenty-somethings, they have trouble integrating a one armed girl into their usual mid-morning sexual fantasies. I don't know why, i think she's rather fruity and wouldn't raise any objections to being gently nudged with her stump. Giddy up!
'Something's Missing' - The Chords
I'm all for the disabled getting their share of the spotlight. Unfortunately, in some circles, there seems to be a reticence to even admit that we wander round this planet together with lots of people with missing limbs, an inability to walk or see, or something else which marks them out as a little different. Earlier this week we heard that parents of young children had been ringing the BBC to complain about the presence of a kid's TV presenter who was born without an arm. Apparently it "frightened their children"
I don't know about you but she sure does scare the knackers off me.
Of course what these concerned fathers mean is that when they switch on children's programmes, staffed by young blonde twenty-somethings, they have trouble integrating a one armed girl into their usual mid-morning sexual fantasies. I don't know why, i think she's rather fruity and wouldn't raise any objections to being gently nudged with her stump. Giddy up!
'Something's Missing' - The Chords
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Have you Americans picked yourselves up off the floor after, our dear leader, Gordon Brown's fantastic speech to Congress? What do you mean "what speech"?
In case you didn't manage to catch the Brown oratory He was there to lay his cards on the table and do some straight talking about the sickly world economy. Instead, he basically said how fantastic he thinks America is over and over and over again, using increasingly convoluted sentences. I must say this came a little out of the blue. You see, Gordon used to be in charge of all our money for the last decade. Taxes, spending, regulating the financial sector, that kind of thing. He thought he was quite good at it then it all went a bit...wrong. Now he is Prime Minister he would normally just blame it all on the last Chancellor of the Exchequer but seeing as that was him that is a touch problematic.
So whenever any points scoring politico, nosey journalist or irate bloke who's just lost his job and seen his house repossessed asks him - "if regulation is so fucking vital why didn't you do anything about it during the last 12 years you one-eyed fuckwit?", he points vaguely to where the United States lies over the Atlantic and says, "it's all their fault". Except, of course, when he is in America, talking to Americans who, he probably correctly surmises, won't enthusiastically stand up and clap that type of thing 16 times. Best just say how fantastic America is again instead...17. Get in.
The American press and, i'm assuming, the vast majority of Americans just don't care what some strange foreign politician says but the British press do, which must annoy the hell out of Gordon. What he needed was a diversion. I know. Why not give Edward Kennedy a knighthood for his contribution to "peace in Northern Ireland"? Back in 2004 the government gave a knighthood to the chairman of Royal Bank of Scotland for "services to banking". He was so good at banking that, last week, his bank reported the biggest corporate loss in UK history and it is now owned by the taxpayer. So at least this doesn't go down as THE most ghastly inappropriate honour awarded in recent years but it's probably in the top two.
'You Know I'm No Good' - Amy Winehouse
In case you didn't manage to catch the Brown oratory He was there to lay his cards on the table and do some straight talking about the sickly world economy. Instead, he basically said how fantastic he thinks America is over and over and over again, using increasingly convoluted sentences. I must say this came a little out of the blue. You see, Gordon used to be in charge of all our money for the last decade. Taxes, spending, regulating the financial sector, that kind of thing. He thought he was quite good at it then it all went a bit...wrong. Now he is Prime Minister he would normally just blame it all on the last Chancellor of the Exchequer but seeing as that was him that is a touch problematic.
So whenever any points scoring politico, nosey journalist or irate bloke who's just lost his job and seen his house repossessed asks him - "if regulation is so fucking vital why didn't you do anything about it during the last 12 years you one-eyed fuckwit?", he points vaguely to where the United States lies over the Atlantic and says, "it's all their fault". Except, of course, when he is in America, talking to Americans who, he probably correctly surmises, won't enthusiastically stand up and clap that type of thing 16 times. Best just say how fantastic America is again instead...17. Get in.
The American press and, i'm assuming, the vast majority of Americans just don't care what some strange foreign politician says but the British press do, which must annoy the hell out of Gordon. What he needed was a diversion. I know. Why not give Edward Kennedy a knighthood for his contribution to "peace in Northern Ireland"? Back in 2004 the government gave a knighthood to the chairman of Royal Bank of Scotland for "services to banking". He was so good at banking that, last week, his bank reported the biggest corporate loss in UK history and it is now owned by the taxpayer. So at least this doesn't go down as THE most ghastly inappropriate honour awarded in recent years but it's probably in the top two.
'You Know I'm No Good' - Amy Winehouse
T
TonyBlairPM
Guest
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
Lady Gaga - Poker Face
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rQblP5i47w"]YouTube - Lady GaGa - Poker Face HD[/nomedia]
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rQblP5i47w"]YouTube - Lady GaGa - Poker Face HD[/nomedia]
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Doctors.
What the hell is wrong with these people, eh? A question which would normally be best answered by a doctor, granted, but they don't seem to know what their job is any more. Luckily i'm a rather healthy young cove who has no need to spend my valuable time hanging round disease ridden, piss-stained old fools and spluttering, wailing, snot covered brats. Besides, i find this place covers those particular bases with gusto. Gusto, i say.
In my experience all they really want to do is shine that little light in your eyes and ears, all the while cupping your testicles in their cold clammy hands and breathing heavily. Admittedly i haven't visited a doctor for some time and new medical advances and techniques may have evolved, doctors struck off for malpractice, that type of thing. Anyway, instead of getting busy with some advanced stethoscoping they seem to think a couple of extree years spent drinking themselves silly at university gives them some divine right to call for things to be banned.
Doctor Porker is calling for poor fat people to be outlawed and hunted to extinction.
They have had their fill of boxing and smoking. Now they want to tax chocolate and set minimum prices for alcohol. Apparently, if we all live a risk free existence of air-filtered celibacy, following a strict diet of triple purified water and sun-dried organic lettuce, we could probably reach the ripe old age of one hundred and fifty. Well, the ones who didn't open their wrists or throw themselves off a railway bridge to stave off the overwhelming sense of ennui that is.
If governments really do need some incredible wheeze in order to rake in the readies why not just tax doctors every time they see fit to make some high-handed suggestion for shafting the hard-pressed, taxpaying proles who insist having a pint or a Mars bar after a hard day working for less than a hundred thousand fecking squids a year? Doctors? C***s more like.
'What the Doctor Ordered' - Terrorvision
What the hell is wrong with these people, eh? A question which would normally be best answered by a doctor, granted, but they don't seem to know what their job is any more. Luckily i'm a rather healthy young cove who has no need to spend my valuable time hanging round disease ridden, piss-stained old fools and spluttering, wailing, snot covered brats. Besides, i find this place covers those particular bases with gusto. Gusto, i say.
In my experience all they really want to do is shine that little light in your eyes and ears, all the while cupping your testicles in their cold clammy hands and breathing heavily. Admittedly i haven't visited a doctor for some time and new medical advances and techniques may have evolved, doctors struck off for malpractice, that type of thing. Anyway, instead of getting busy with some advanced stethoscoping they seem to think a couple of extree years spent drinking themselves silly at university gives them some divine right to call for things to be banned.
Doctor Porker is calling for poor fat people to be outlawed and hunted to extinction.
They have had their fill of boxing and smoking. Now they want to tax chocolate and set minimum prices for alcohol. Apparently, if we all live a risk free existence of air-filtered celibacy, following a strict diet of triple purified water and sun-dried organic lettuce, we could probably reach the ripe old age of one hundred and fifty. Well, the ones who didn't open their wrists or throw themselves off a railway bridge to stave off the overwhelming sense of ennui that is.
If governments really do need some incredible wheeze in order to rake in the readies why not just tax doctors every time they see fit to make some high-handed suggestion for shafting the hard-pressed, taxpaying proles who insist having a pint or a Mars bar after a hard day working for less than a hundred thousand fecking squids a year? Doctors? C***s more like.
'What the Doctor Ordered' - Terrorvision
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What the? Chocolate? I heard that Chocolate has anti-oxidants which will make people live longer. I suspect that they want it taxed so poor people live less years.Doctors.
What the hell is wrong with these people, eh? A question which would normally be best answered by a doctor, granted, but they don't seem to know what their job is any more. Luckily i'm a rather healthy young cove who has no need to spend my valuable time hanging round disease ridden, piss-stained old fools and spluttering, wailing, snot covered brats. Besides, i find this place covers those particular bases with gusto. Gusto, i say.
In my experience all they really want to do is shine that little light in your eyes and ears, all the while cupping your testicles in their cold clammy hands and breathing heavily. Admittedly i haven't visited a doctor for some time and new medical advances and techniques may have evolved, doctors struck off for malpractice, that type of thing. Anyway, instead of getting busy with some advanced stethoscoping they seem to think a couple of extree years spent drinking themselves silly at university gives them some divine right to call for things to be banned.
Doctor Porker is calling for poor fat people to be outlawed and hunted to extinction.
They have had their fill of boxing and smoking. Now they want to tax chocolate and set minimum prices for alcohol. Apparently, if we all live a risk free existence of air-filtered celibacy, following a strict diet of triple purified water and sun-dried organic lettuce, we could probably reach the ripe old age of one hundred and fifty. Well, the ones who didn't open their wrists or throw themselves off a railway bridge to stave off the overwhelming sense of ennui that is.
If governments really do need some incredible wheeze in order to rake in the readies why not just tax doctors every time they see fit to make some high-handed suggestion for shafting the hard-pressed, taxpaying proles who insist having a pint or a Mars bar after a hard day working for less than a hundred thousand fecking squids a year? Doctors? C***s more like.
'What the Doctor Ordered' - Terrorvision
Disturbed - Deceiver
Mott the Hoople
Sweet Jane
Doctors.
What the hell is wrong with these people, eh? A question which would normally be best answered by a doctor, granted, but they don't seem to know what their job is any more. Luckily i'm a rather healthy young cove who has no need to spend my valuable time hanging round disease ridden, piss-stained old fools and spluttering, wailing, snot covered brats. Besides, i find this place covers those particular bases with gusto. Gusto, i say.
In my experience all they really want to do is shine that little light in your eyes and ears, all the while cupping your testicles in their cold clammy hands and breathing heavily. Admittedly i haven't visited a doctor for some time and new medical advances and techniques may have evolved, doctors struck off for malpractice, that type of thing. Anyway, instead of getting busy with some advanced stethoscoping they seem to think a couple of extree years spent drinking themselves silly at university gives them some divine right to call for things to be banned.
Doctor Porker is calling for poor fat people to be outlawed and hunted to extinction.
They have had their fill of boxing and smoking. Now they want to tax chocolate and set minimum prices for alcohol. Apparently, if we all live a risk free existence of air-filtered celibacy, following a strict diet of triple purified water and sun-dried organic lettuce, we could probably reach the ripe old age of one hundred and fifty. Well, the ones who didn't open their wrists or throw themselves off a railway bridge to stave off the overwhelming sense of ennui that is.
If governments really do need some incredible wheeze in order to rake in the readies why not just tax doctors every time they see fit to make some high-handed suggestion for shafting the hard-pressed, taxpaying proles who insist having a pint or a Mars bar after a hard day working for less than a hundred thousand fecking squids a year? Doctors? C***s more like.
'What the Doctor Ordered' - Terrorvision
Oh quite you're whining and turn your head and cough.
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Is there any intelligent life out there? "Well there certainly isn't any in here" i hear you chant in unison.
As true as that statement may be one does catch oneself, during an idle moment, contemplating the majesty of far-off planets, technologically advanced flying saucers and little green men having forced sex with Japanese schoolgirls using their dexterous, and presumably well lubricated, tentacles for maximum penetrative endeavour.
Anyway, the Ministry of Defence have just released some UFO related documents detailing various "incidents" of a Roswell type nature. The results, i am afraid to say, leave one rather downcast. Whether it is the "bright cigar shaped object", which turned out to be an airship advertising Ford cars, or the RAF Tornado pilots overtaken by a "giant UFO" over Germany which, it transpired, was a bit that had fallen off a Russian rocket (damn shoddy workmanship there, Boris) there is little for the devoted alien groupie to get even a little moist over.
However, there are drawings. Behold.
I wouldn't have liked to be in the shoes of the poor chap who gazed up into the sky, probably expecting to see some migrating birds or, perhaps, a passenger jet, only to be confronted by a what can only be described as a giant butt-plug hovering menacingly overhead
And there is the terrifying account of a somewhat gullible sounding woman who met a "Scandinavian" looking chap while walking her dog. Meet a blond-haired gentleman wandering round in deepest Suffolk and who, save someone with an incredibly trusting nature, would not instantly identify the aryan stranger as an interplanetary galactic voyager?
That's right readers, they are out there. So keep your eyes peeled for things popping out of a John Hurt's stomach near you soon. Stay vigilant.
'Ladies and Gentlemen we are Floating in Space' - Spiritualized
As true as that statement may be one does catch oneself, during an idle moment, contemplating the majesty of far-off planets, technologically advanced flying saucers and little green men having forced sex with Japanese schoolgirls using their dexterous, and presumably well lubricated, tentacles for maximum penetrative endeavour.
Anyway, the Ministry of Defence have just released some UFO related documents detailing various "incidents" of a Roswell type nature. The results, i am afraid to say, leave one rather downcast. Whether it is the "bright cigar shaped object", which turned out to be an airship advertising Ford cars, or the RAF Tornado pilots overtaken by a "giant UFO" over Germany which, it transpired, was a bit that had fallen off a Russian rocket (damn shoddy workmanship there, Boris) there is little for the devoted alien groupie to get even a little moist over.
However, there are drawings. Behold.
I wouldn't have liked to be in the shoes of the poor chap who gazed up into the sky, probably expecting to see some migrating birds or, perhaps, a passenger jet, only to be confronted by a what can only be described as a giant butt-plug hovering menacingly overhead
And there is the terrifying account of a somewhat gullible sounding woman who met a "Scandinavian" looking chap while walking her dog. Meet a blond-haired gentleman wandering round in deepest Suffolk and who, save someone with an incredibly trusting nature, would not instantly identify the aryan stranger as an interplanetary galactic voyager?
That's right readers, they are out there. So keep your eyes peeled for things popping out of a John Hurt's stomach near you soon. Stay vigilant.
'Ladies and Gentlemen we are Floating in Space' - Spiritualized
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
This wouldn't be your mate would it?
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YjpcZPT1-NA&feature=player_embedded"]YouTube - Can You Speak Venusian?[/ame]
Now this is some top of the class fruit-loopery here.
Mein Gott! You've found Johnney!
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
Deep Blue Something - Breakfast at Tiffany's
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcmH1LdPNKA"]YouTube - Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's: Revised Version A[/nomedia]
[nomedia="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcmH1LdPNKA"]YouTube - Deep Blue Something - Breakfast At Tiffany's: Revised Version A[/nomedia]