What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?
- Thread starter charver
- Start date
FUCK THE POLICE
911 EVERY DAY
BBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
I hate that song.
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
A rather underwhelming day yesterday. A frankly terrible Slovakia side put forward such a mild mannered, meek and obsequious display against New Zealand that it made one wonder how they actually survived being liquidated by, first, the Nazi's and then the Soviets. The Ivory Coast elephants and Portugal both decided their game wasn't worth winning either.
And then we had mighty Brazil taking on the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as they insist people call them. Had Kim Jong-Il spent his golden years travelling around the many prisons of North Korea gathering together a rag-tag bunch of hardened criminals and desperados, offering them a chance of freedom by accepting a mission to travel behind enemy lines and blow up a French cha...hang on that's the plot of the Dirty Dozen isn't it? Anyway, it turns out that the great leader's revolutionary training methods were a massive success.
Who could fail to be moved by the Korean chap in floods of tears as the national anthem played in the background. Ok, we weren't sure if he was overcome by the occasion or had forgotten the words and was contemplating the certain execution of his entire family at the sound of the final whistle, but it was a powerful moment nonetheless. They held out 'til half time but in the second half, buoyed by a promise that Dunga, Brazil's coach, would burn his hideous coat should they secure the win, victory was assured.
Dunga adopts the 'worried tugboat captain on his first visit to a popular gay nightclub' look.
It's Honduras v. Chile today...no i've got nothing. Chile will win. Or they won't.
Switzerland, fresh from their wartime experiences in looking after stolen Nazi gold, should feel at home in South Africa, home to some equally racist white chaps with very sinister accents indeed. Unfortunately for the Swiss they are playing Spain, who like nothing more than tying cuckoo clocks to medium sized four legged animals and pushing them out of clock towers. Come on Johnny Spaniard i'm expecting good things from you.
Oh, and Uruguay are playing South Africa as well...
'Sexy In Latin' - Little Man Tate
And then we had mighty Brazil taking on the Democratic People's Republic of Korea as they insist people call them. Had Kim Jong-Il spent his golden years travelling around the many prisons of North Korea gathering together a rag-tag bunch of hardened criminals and desperados, offering them a chance of freedom by accepting a mission to travel behind enemy lines and blow up a French cha...hang on that's the plot of the Dirty Dozen isn't it? Anyway, it turns out that the great leader's revolutionary training methods were a massive success.
Who could fail to be moved by the Korean chap in floods of tears as the national anthem played in the background. Ok, we weren't sure if he was overcome by the occasion or had forgotten the words and was contemplating the certain execution of his entire family at the sound of the final whistle, but it was a powerful moment nonetheless. They held out 'til half time but in the second half, buoyed by a promise that Dunga, Brazil's coach, would burn his hideous coat should they secure the win, victory was assured.
Dunga adopts the 'worried tugboat captain on his first visit to a popular gay nightclub' look.
It's Honduras v. Chile today...no i've got nothing. Chile will win. Or they won't.
Switzerland, fresh from their wartime experiences in looking after stolen Nazi gold, should feel at home in South Africa, home to some equally racist white chaps with very sinister accents indeed. Unfortunately for the Swiss they are playing Spain, who like nothing more than tying cuckoo clocks to medium sized four legged animals and pushing them out of clock towers. Come on Johnny Spaniard i'm expecting good things from you.
Oh, and Uruguay are playing South Africa as well...
'Sexy In Latin' - Little Man Tate
FUCK THE POLICE
911 EVERY DAY
NO ONE CARES ABOUT SPORTS CHARV
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Have you ever wondered why every thread mentioning this BP oil disaster bidness seems to degenerate into a discussion on the merits of the relative fighting capability of participants in WWII? This along with how France could be so shit at the World Cup has been perplexing me for the last 12 hours or so. Still, at least it was 12 hours of blessed relief from the usual burgeoning fears of profound sexual inadequacy and the, scandalous, inflation-busting rises in the tariffs of local prostitutes.
Anyway, today my mind shall be occupied by Germany v. Serbia. A happy reunion of old wartime sparring partners who both share a mutual interest in ethnic cleansing. I imagine these two shall get along famously.
The United States Hot Dogs play the multi-talented Slovenes in a must win game for the America. Make a mental note to watch out for Slovenia's vomit inducing kit.
Then tonight it's the big one as pubs up and down this fair land will be heaving to the sweet sounds of portly, shaven headed gentlemen shouting obscenities at foreigners. England play the mighty Algeria, home of the whirling dervish. In this cove's opinion, the best type of dervish. It's been a while since we fucked the Arabs, i'll never forget that gentleman's bath-house in Cairo, but we're primed and ready for action. In your face Albert Camus.
'On A Mission' - The Rakes
Anyway, today my mind shall be occupied by Germany v. Serbia. A happy reunion of old wartime sparring partners who both share a mutual interest in ethnic cleansing. I imagine these two shall get along famously.
The United States Hot Dogs play the multi-talented Slovenes in a must win game for the America. Make a mental note to watch out for Slovenia's vomit inducing kit.
Then tonight it's the big one as pubs up and down this fair land will be heaving to the sweet sounds of portly, shaven headed gentlemen shouting obscenities at foreigners. England play the mighty Algeria, home of the whirling dervish. In this cove's opinion, the best type of dervish. It's been a while since we fucked the Arabs, i'll never forget that gentleman's bath-house in Cairo, but we're primed and ready for action. In your face Albert Camus.
'On A Mission' - The Rakes
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
I was rather hoping the German and Serbian teams would show up sporting Uzi and AK-47, and subsequently mow each other down on the field.
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
So, i've had all my windows open wide for five days, gone through six cans of Fabreeze Blossom and Breeze air freshener and have even taken up smoking two hundred cigarettes a day in a futile attempt to address the foetid funk of last Friday's England v. Algeria game, clinging to me like a gin-soaked pre-menopausal divorcee glimpsing her last shot at motherhood.
I have to say the results have been disappointing. I have been the victim of a burglar who stole my money along with my heart, the supermarket cashier is now thoroughly convinced that i am a solvent abuser and opening the front door now resembles stepping back into some bygone sepia-tinged Victorian town house. Yet the dreadful stink stubbornly refuses to budge.
My last hope for banishing this recalcitrant stench lies, somewhat worryingly, in the wobbly hands of the capricious England squad once more as they face Slovenia today.
Should the unthinkable happen, and our footballers again wipe their collective bottoms on the hopes of millions of inebriated violence prone gentlemen across the nation, then i fear the putrid odour will envelop this fair land, the warming rays of the sun will be but a distant memory as the icy chill wind of failure sends the old, the vulnerable and the infirm to an early grave, crops will fail, the bodies of the stricken will litter the streets, and the only sound to be heard above the distant cheers of jubilant Scotchmen will be the tormented cry of a weeping child. No pressure there lads.
Peter Crouch and Aaron Lennon make their way back to Tottenham's training ground from Heathrow.
If anyone spots a good quality gas mask on e-Bay, i'd be eternally grateful if you'd give me a shout.
'I'm Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman' - White Stripes
I have to say the results have been disappointing. I have been the victim of a burglar who stole my money along with my heart, the supermarket cashier is now thoroughly convinced that i am a solvent abuser and opening the front door now resembles stepping back into some bygone sepia-tinged Victorian town house. Yet the dreadful stink stubbornly refuses to budge.
My last hope for banishing this recalcitrant stench lies, somewhat worryingly, in the wobbly hands of the capricious England squad once more as they face Slovenia today.
Should the unthinkable happen, and our footballers again wipe their collective bottoms on the hopes of millions of inebriated violence prone gentlemen across the nation, then i fear the putrid odour will envelop this fair land, the warming rays of the sun will be but a distant memory as the icy chill wind of failure sends the old, the vulnerable and the infirm to an early grave, crops will fail, the bodies of the stricken will litter the streets, and the only sound to be heard above the distant cheers of jubilant Scotchmen will be the tormented cry of a weeping child. No pressure there lads.
Peter Crouch and Aaron Lennon make their way back to Tottenham's training ground from Heathrow.
If anyone spots a good quality gas mask on e-Bay, i'd be eternally grateful if you'd give me a shout.
'I'm Finding It Harder To Be A Gentleman' - White Stripes
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cancel2 2022
Canceled
Seasick Steve-Dog House Boogie
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNoPNC3ebYQ"]YouTube- Seasick Steve LIVE ON JOOLS HOLLAND-- TOP QUALITY VID[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pNoPNC3ebYQ"]YouTube- Seasick Steve LIVE ON JOOLS HOLLAND-- TOP QUALITY VID[/ame]
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charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Severe sunburn, panting dogs sticking thier heads out of car windows, children igniting ants with a magnifying glass before taking pity on the poor creatures and drowning them in boiling water, gentlemen looking uncomfortable in garish leisurewear, old toothless women messily eating ice creams by the seaside while indulging in whispered bouts of casual racism. All hallmarks of a British summertime.
Well, not here it isn't. The sky is grey, the ground is strewn with puddles, and on High Streets up and down the land ordinary men and women are having their eyes poked out by lumbering halfwits sporting oversized golf umbrellas.
And, of course, we have a hosepipe ban because the water company has somehow managed to misplace all of the water in this, the most rained on of all the rainy counties of England. Yes, United Utilities you bunch of charlatan c***s, i'm looking at you.
Local children make themselves scarce as the feared hose-pipe inspector ensures not a drop of water is wasted.
I don't actually own a hosepipe. Nevertheless, now i am forced, by fat cat capitalist whores, to cease spraying imaginary women in my back garden with my imaginary hose pipe. This country, eh? I didn't fight and die in the War of the Austrian Succession only to be told, a mere 265 years later, that i cannot attach a plastic pipe to my taps for the purpose of conveying water onto firm and perky imaginary breasts. Political correctness gone mad, that's what it is. I'm sure if i was an asylum seeking Muslim i'd be encouraged, probably paid, to waste water twenty-four hours a day, except on Ramadan when water is forbidden and they throw old car batteries into rivers instead.
'So Called Summer' - Team Waterpolo
Well, not here it isn't. The sky is grey, the ground is strewn with puddles, and on High Streets up and down the land ordinary men and women are having their eyes poked out by lumbering halfwits sporting oversized golf umbrellas.
And, of course, we have a hosepipe ban because the water company has somehow managed to misplace all of the water in this, the most rained on of all the rainy counties of England. Yes, United Utilities you bunch of charlatan c***s, i'm looking at you.
Local children make themselves scarce as the feared hose-pipe inspector ensures not a drop of water is wasted.
I don't actually own a hosepipe. Nevertheless, now i am forced, by fat cat capitalist whores, to cease spraying imaginary women in my back garden with my imaginary hose pipe. This country, eh? I didn't fight and die in the War of the Austrian Succession only to be told, a mere 265 years later, that i cannot attach a plastic pipe to my taps for the purpose of conveying water onto firm and perky imaginary breasts. Political correctness gone mad, that's what it is. I'm sure if i was an asylum seeking Muslim i'd be encouraged, probably paid, to waste water twenty-four hours a day, except on Ramadan when water is forbidden and they throw old car batteries into rivers instead.
'So Called Summer' - Team Waterpolo
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=636D3aqzx1s"]YouTube- Crossfire - Brandon Flowers with Lyrics[/ame]
signalmankenneth
Verified User
I Want To Hold Your Hand
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iim6s8Ea_bE"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iim6s8Ea_bE[/ame]
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iim6s8Ea_bE"]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iim6s8Ea_bE[/ame]
Dixie - In Memoriam
New member
[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9SQ49EzO9A"]YouTube- "Chest Fever" Levon Helm Band 6/13/09[/ame]
Cancel 2018. 3
<-- sched 2, MJ sched 1
matt kearney - nothing left to lose
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Here i find myself at the bitter acrimonious divorce stage of my dealings with that miserable frigid bitch, July. However, one can look forward to the prospect of taking her younger, sexier sister, August, behind Cranston's butchers to give her a good rattling next to the bins full of animal scrapings and eyeballs. Good times.
Anyway, when i'm not indulging in vigorous sexual congress with months of the year, my time shall be taken up flicking through my brand new list of harvested Facebook profiles. Only 2.79 Gigabites...what's that in Imperial measurements? About 10 pages isn't it? I'm very curious to find out if June was, as i have always suspected, actually December in a wig.
Facebook user DEViLBitCh99 is worried what the Jews will say if his archive was ever made public.
Personally, i have never seen the attraction of the MyBimboFace twittering habits of the callow youngsters of today. If an old chap suddenly feels the urge to post a picture of his old chap, perhaps enhanced with a little face drawn on it in black marker pen, then there are plenty of places he can leave it for others to enjoy - bus shelters, doctor's waiting rooms and school parent's evenings to name but three - all without burdening people with extra information regarding one's musical inspirations (the marching band of the Royal Marines and Justin Biebers since you ask) or if one is enamoured by cats in cravats (no, thems is both evil).
You wouldn't catch this cove idly conversing with spods on the other side of the world in computer language.
'Lend Me Your Face' - Fight Like Apes
Anyway, when i'm not indulging in vigorous sexual congress with months of the year, my time shall be taken up flicking through my brand new list of harvested Facebook profiles. Only 2.79 Gigabites...what's that in Imperial measurements? About 10 pages isn't it? I'm very curious to find out if June was, as i have always suspected, actually December in a wig.
Facebook user DEViLBitCh99 is worried what the Jews will say if his archive was ever made public.
Personally, i have never seen the attraction of the MyBimboFace twittering habits of the callow youngsters of today. If an old chap suddenly feels the urge to post a picture of his old chap, perhaps enhanced with a little face drawn on it in black marker pen, then there are plenty of places he can leave it for others to enjoy - bus shelters, doctor's waiting rooms and school parent's evenings to name but three - all without burdening people with extra information regarding one's musical inspirations (the marching band of the Royal Marines and Justin Biebers since you ask) or if one is enamoured by cats in cravats (no, thems is both evil).
You wouldn't catch this cove idly conversing with spods on the other side of the world in computer language.
'Lend Me Your Face' - Fight Like Apes
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