What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?

Well, wasn't it exciting, eh?

Everyone loves a royal baby, don't they? I mean, i can't say that i, personally, was ever really excited. Or interested for that matter. However, the people on the news said i definitely was. So, beneath this shallow façade of indifference i am most likely engaged in an almighty battle to steer my fragile psyche through a cataclysmic maelstrom of emotional turmoil.

The woman on the news also told me that you, the foreigner, spent most of yesterday anxiously waiting for news. “The whole world was watching and waiting”, she said. If this place was any guide, as far as i could make out most of the world seemed, at best, to be glancing up every few hours in between fighting with each other and masturbating furiously.

Anyway, she took her time about it but after some encouraging shouts of “push harder you frightful narrow-hipped commoner”, Kate squeezed out our future king. Huzzah! Then the odd things started happening. The full moon turned a strange shade of deep orange before taking on an almost blood red hue. The three weeks of unbroken sunshine was shattered by the flash of the lightning bolt and the deep clangorous rumble of thunder. What devilry is this?

Some may suggest that, at the exact time of the birth, Prince Philip was standing naked, atop a crudely daubed pentagram surrounded by twelve cloaked figures. In front of him the lifeless carcass of a newly sodomised goat, in his left hand a short curved blade, in his right a simple golden chalice rumoured to be the very cup of Judas Iscariot himself.

I cannot say for certain which truth is the real truth but I tell you this, friends. We are all doomed. Doomed, say i. Doomed. (Are you picking up the doomed theme here?) Today, women and emasculated gentlemen coo over baby names. Little do they know the face they so long to set eyes upon, in the hours ahead, will one day be staring pitilessly back at them, as they beg for mercy, writhing in agony and torment amid the scorched earth and the putrid stench of death.

Congratulations all round. Wonderful news.

Megadeth - 'Countdown to Extinction'
 
"The woman on the news also told me that you, the foreigner, spent most of yesterday anxiously waiting for news. “The whole world was watching and waiting”, she said. If this place was any guide, as far as i could make out most of the world seemed, at best, to be glancing up every few hours in between fighting with each other and masturbating furiously."

I think that's just us...

Kudos Charver!
 
Good Morning.

Or rather not. Sitting here ashen faced, attired, as i am, in our best funeral suit, i am not ashamed to say my face is, once again, awash with tears. I am sorry to say we have lost one of our number. There has been a death in the family. 007 is no more. Our own psychotic Timothy Daltons has been bumped of by the combined might of sinister cat-stroking king-pin of crime, Damocles, and his ruthless henchmen, probably by means of an exploding snake secreted in a poisoned cake or something.

As the most serious poster on the board i have been asked to say a few short words by the murderers management.

What can one say about 007? Basically he was a bit of a cu...er...he was a very misunderstood man, a man of passion, a fiercely loyal family man. I can't say that I knew 007 well but there was always something about him. Something intangible. I can't quite put my finger on it but he always reminded me of someone. You know who that person was? That's right, you're probably already way ahead of me here. Our own Queen of Hearts, Princess Lady Diana Spencers. Like her he was born. There are simply too many similarities to mention.

What better way of honouring the memory of our dearly beloved friend, 007, than to invite Sir Elton Johns to deliver his own tribute. Do feel free to sing along.

Goodbye Double O
Though I never knew you at all
You cursed and swore a lot
Then swore and cursed some more
You crawled out of the toilet
And you landed on the floor
Where Maineman trod on you
When he opened Boston's door.

Chorus
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a frightened little man
Calling Tom a hat and Desh a twat
Hiding in the can.
And I would have liked to have known you
Before your permaban
Now we're all just killing time
Waiting for Southern Man.

R.I.P. 007 (2012-13)
 
charver said:
Good Morning.

Or rather not. Sitting here ashen faced, attired, as i am, in our best funeral suit, i am not ashamed to say my face is, once again, awash with tears. I am sorry to say we have lost one of our number. There has been a death in the family. 007 is no more. Our own psychotic Timothy Daltons has been bumped of by the combined might of sinister cat-stroking king-pin of crime, Damocles, and his ruthless henchmen, probably by means of an exploding snake secreted in a poisoned cake or something.

As the most serious poster on the board i have been asked to say a few short words by the murderers management.

What can one say about 007? Basically he was a bit of a cu...er...he was a very misunderstood man, a man of passion, a fiercely loyal family man. I can't say that I knew 007 well but there was always something about him. Something intangible. I can't quite put my finger on it but he always reminded me of someone. You know who that person was? That's right, you're probably already way ahead of me here. Our own Queen of Hearts, Princess Lady Diana Spencers. Like her he was born. There are simply too many similarities to mention.

What better way of honouring the memory of our dearly beloved friend, 007, than to invite Sir Elton Johns to deliver his own tribute. Do feel free to sing along.

Goodbye Double O
Though I never knew you at all
You cursed and swore a lot
Then swore and cursed some more
You crawled out of the toilet
And you landed on the floor
Where Maineman trod on you
When he opened Boston's door.

Chorus
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a frightened little man
Calling Tom a hat and Desh a twat
Hiding in the can.
And I would have liked to have known you
Before your permaban
Now we're all just killing time
Waiting for Southern Man.

R.I.P. 007 (2012-13)
Click to expand...

This is too fucking fabulous to get lost here, I am going to put it on the open 007 banned thread, hope you don't mind!
 
charver said:
Good Morning.

Or rather not. Sitting here ashen faced, attired, as i am, in our best funeral suit, i am not ashamed to say my face is, once again, awash with tears. I am sorry to say we have lost one of our number. There has been a death in the family. 007 is no more. Our own psychotic Timothy Daltons has been bumped of by the combined might of sinister cat-stroking king-pin of crime, Damocles, and his ruthless henchmen, probably by means of an exploding snake secreted in a poisoned cake or something.

As the most serious poster on the board i have been asked to say a few short words by the murderers management.

What can one say about 007? Basically he was a bit of a cu...er...he was a very misunderstood man, a man of passion, a fiercely loyal family man. I can't say that I knew 007 well but there was always something about him. Something intangible. I can't quite put my finger on it but he always reminded me of someone. You know who that person was? That's right, you're probably already way ahead of me here. Our own Queen of Hearts, Princess Lady Diana Spencers. Like her he was born. There are simply too many similarities to mention.

What better way of honouring the memory of our dearly beloved friend, 007, than to invite Sir Elton Johns to deliver his own tribute. Do feel free to sing along.

Goodbye Double O
Though I never knew you at all
You cursed and swore a lot
Then swore and cursed some more
You crawled out of the toilet
And you landed on the floor
Where Maineman trod on you
When he opened Boston's door.

Chorus
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a frightened little man
Calling Tom a hat and Desh a twat
Hiding in the can.
And I would have liked to have known you
Before your permaban
Now we're all just killing time
Waiting for Southern Man.

R.I.P. 007 (2012-13)
Click to expand...

This is fabulous. Consider yourself thanked times ten.
 
charver said:
Good Morning.

Or rather not. Sitting here ashen faced, attired, as i am, in our best funeral suit, i am not ashamed to say my face is, once again, awash with tears. I am sorry to say we have lost one of our number. There has been a death in the family. 007 is no more. Our own psychotic Timothy Daltons has been bumped of by the combined might of sinister cat-stroking king-pin of crime, Damocles, and his ruthless henchmen, probably by means of an exploding snake secreted in a poisoned cake or something.

As the most serious poster on the board i have been asked to say a few short words by the murderers management.

What can one say about 007? Basically he was a bit of a cu...er...he was a very misunderstood man, a man of passion, a fiercely loyal family man. I can't say that I knew 007 well but there was always something about him. Something intangible. I can't quite put my finger on it but he always reminded me of someone. You know who that person was? That's right, you're probably already way ahead of me here. Our own Queen of Hearts, Princess Lady Diana Spencers. Like her he was born. There are simply too many similarities to mention.

What better way of honouring the memory of our dearly beloved friend, 007, than to invite Sir Elton Johns to deliver his own tribute. Do feel free to sing along.

Goodbye Double O
Though I never knew you at all
You cursed and swore a lot
Then swore and cursed some more
You crawled out of the toilet
And you landed on the floor
Where Maineman trod on you
When he opened Boston's door.

Chorus
And it seems to me you lived your life
Like a frightened little man
Calling Tom a hat and Desh a twat
Hiding in the can.
And I would have liked to have known you
Before your permaban
Now we're all just killing time
Waiting for Southern Man.

R.I.P. 007 (2012-13)
Click to expand...

a better eulogy than deserved
 
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