You don't know the first foreign thing about the Laws of Thermo. You don't even understand acids and bases...how on earth would you have survived a P Chem class??????
You are describing yourself again. You can't project YOUR problems on anyone else.
Let me try to educate you once again:
1st law of thermodynamics: E(t+1) = E(t) - U where 'E' is energy, 't' is time, and 'U' is work (or force applied over time).
CO2 is not work. Therefore 'U' is zero. Therefore, E(t+1) = E(t). You cannot create energy out of nothing.
2nd law of thermodynamics: e(t+1) >= e(t) where 'e' is entropy (or the ability of energy to do work), and 't' is time. In other words, entropy must always increase or stay the same. It can NEVER decrease. You cannot heat a warmer surface using a colder gas. This equation defines the concept of 'heat' and assigns it a direction. Heat can never flow 'uphill' or 'backwards'. You cannot trap heat. You cannot trap thermal energy.
Stefan-Boltzmann law: E = C*e*t^4 where 'E' is electromagnetic energy (light), 'C' is a natural constant, 'e' is a measured constant denoting how well a substance absorbs or emits light, and 't' is temperature in deg C.
CO2 has no magick ability to not convert thermal energy to light. Neither does anything on the surface. This equation is one part of radiant heat (heating by light). You cannot trap light.
ALL substances above absolute zero contain thermal energy. You have denied this also.
You simply want to ignore these theories of science and play word games.