Tell me about yourself?

Beefy said:
I'm a stressed out, joyless Johnson. My name is Matt and I live in Hawaii. Every day I see the ocean and the jungle and God fuck it all.

There's a parrot in my neighborhood, a small green one, and the little bastard starts crying bloody murder every morning at about 3:30. And I'm forced to keep my windows oped because its so bloody hot that I'd have a heat stroke of I didn't. So having a heat stroke or hearing a freaked out parrot scream. Those are my options.

I went to the beach some weeks ago and cut my foot on a reef. Got MRSA infection and my foot looked like a dead whale liver, so my doctor put me on antibiotics. The antibiotics made me tired so defenseless that I got a sty eye the size of a kumquat, and an abscess on the roof of my mouth that had to be lanced and drained. Puss pocket my dentist called it. But she's hot. Its embarrassing going to the dentist when she's hot and you have hangover breath.

Welcome aboard.
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YIKES!

If anything, it would appear you've got a run of good luck coming to you eventually.
 
Darla said:
Welcome. We don't have many women here, so I'll tell you about the men. If you like smart, sexy, rich men boy have you come to the right place!

I believe our shortest male poster is 6 feet...most are 6'1 and 6'2. None of them work for anyone, they are all their own bosses and fabulously successful. Most of them play the stock market in their downtime and are making money hand over fist there! Not that they need more money. In fact there is a thread now entitled "going short, all in", where we have some of our movie-star handsome gentlemen trying to decide who made more on the market today.

And built? All very svelte and very well built (especially where it matters most).

They all have fabulously gorgeous, sexy, and brilliant wives who adore them...except for the ones who haven't wanted to tie themselves down to just one fabulously beautiful woman and date several smart and witty beauties a week!

You'd think that'd be enough. But no. They are all also absolutely expert in absolutely every field and subject you can think of! They even know more than nationally recognized professionals who are highly prominent in their own field. The JPP fella eschews becoming prominent in one field - each is an expert in all fields!

In other words, when you found JPP, you hit the jackpot. Have fun!
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Meh, 6'1" isn't very tall. I'm 6'1" and when I was a kid I wanted to be 6'3" or slightly taller.
 
cawacko said:
Quite clearly these two pertinent pieces of information define yours truly as the alpha dog of the board.
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Well, you got the dog part right... but the USC/Ohio combo screams more 'poodle' than 'alpha dog'. Of course to you a 'poodle' probably does seem like an alpha dog... so perhaps that is what you meant.
 
Darla said:
Welcome. We don't have many women here, so I'll tell you about the men. If you like smart, sexy, rich men boy have you come to the right place!

I believe our shortest male poster is 6 feet...most are 6'1 and 6'2. None of them work for anyone, they are all their own bosses and fabulously successful. Most of them play the stock market in their downtime and are making money hand over fist there! Not that they need more money. In fact there is a thread now entitled "going short, all in", where we have some of our movie-star handsome gentlemen trying to decide who made more on the market today.

And built? All very svelte and very well built (especially where it matters most).

They all have fabulously gorgeous, sexy, and brilliant wives who adore them...except for the ones who haven't wanted to tie themselves down to just one fabulously beautiful woman and date several smart and witty beauties a week!

You'd think that'd be enough. But no. They are all also absolutely expert in absolutely every field and subject you can think of! They even know more than nationally recognized professionals who are highly prominent in their own field. The JPP fella eschews becoming prominent in one field - each is an expert in all fields!

In other words, when you found JPP, you hit the jackpot. Have fun!
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I must say... that had me laughing all the way through...
 
Beefy said:
Oahu, Kaimuki by Diamond Head. I got bitten by a blue hawaiian centipede once, quite the week wrecker. But they're fairly uncommon. The bigger nuisance is the giant flying cockroaches and the rats. Not fun having a cane spider on your glasses either. And that's before 1,100 homeless people ask you for a cigarette or a dollar before breakfast. Paradise. Shit on a shingle.
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Hawaii has flying rats??
 
Tyrion the Imp said:
I am watermark, King of America, Commander in Chief of the People's Self Defense Army, General Secretary of the Politburo standing committee of the Workers Party of America, and your lawful sovereign. All I ask of you is your undying, unquestioning loyalty in all matters, your eternal soul, and perhaps a vial of blood here and there.

Suspend the constitution!
Declare martial law!
Rule by decree!
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LYNCH WATERMARK
 
Tyrion the Imp said:
I had a dog. She was fat, and mean, and the most beautiful girl in the world. She died Wednesday. She grew weaker over the past few months, though the vets couldn't tell what it was. She didn't eat for the past few days, not even when I tried to feed each kibble to her individually. The afternoon before she died, she was drinking water again, which made me ecstatic, I thought she was recovering finally. I took a nap, and when I woke up, she was dead.

Now she dwells in Valhalla, with the other warriors. Come Ragnarok, she will rise again as a vicious hellhound, and shall slay all who do not grant her pets.

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I'm sorry Watermark and feel for your loss. :(
 
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