What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?

What a world, eh?

As if the prospect of beardie types trying to blow up planes with mp3 powered lucozade wasn't enough, for the past 3 weeks i've been plagued by, what seems like, the entire population of China attempting to mine me for information regarding 'investment opportunities'.

A polite, "please take me off your database" met with little response, so i have been forced to use coarse and degrading language at least once a day. I think i can honestly say it is the first time i have ever called someone i don't know a "cunt" over the phone. (Obviously i refer to regular friends and family as cunts all the time, you understand)

Plan B - 'Sick 2 Def'

So, come on Tony Blairs, get off the beach, get yer bony old arse down to the UN and get some resolutions passed quick smart.
 
Better news from the island oasis that is Great Britain.

After four days of frantic activity by spies in dinner jackets zooming round London in Aston Martin DB7's arresting terrorists, airports filled with delayed middle-class passengers demanding priority on the basis they have managed to successfully procreate and crowds of government talking heads apologising to self-appointed 'community leaders', we are kind of safe again.

Yes, the security level has been downgraded from "papaya and passion fruit" to the much less threatening "mango chutney". Praise be. Yes, no longer are Britons fearing a terrorist incident is "imminent", it is merely "highly likely".

The Smiths - 'Panic'

Huzzah!
 
Queen - The Bohemian Rhapsody...

Just because I like it regardless of its propensity for winning best rock song ever in the UK consistently...
 
I know many of you are fond of the old philosophising, some say putting your feet up and thinking about stuff. Yes, some people would simply point and label you a lazy, work-shy fop, but not i.

You can’t beat a bit of philosophy can you? Where would men and women be now if they hadn’t sat down for a think about the big imponderables of life? A cynic may say, “not stuck on the shelf with nothing but a life of regret and missed chances to look back on, whilst your youthful hopes and dreams dissolve into the reality of isolation, misery and eventual oblivion.” But not me.

Can anyone explain the meaning of life? (and if any student wanker type is thinking about shouting out “42”, prepare for a punch up the bracket)

Is there a heaven? And if there is, was respected American professor, Belinda Carlisle correct when she hypothesised - “Ooo heaven is a place on Earth”?

I‘m certainly no Platos, Socrate or Aristottles. In fact I’ll admit it’s all Greek to me. HAHA!!!1!!GREEKYOUSEE!!!111!

Well, I’ll leave you spods to the big issues as my mind is too full of less important stuff to contemplate why Occam’ shaving problems are the subject of so much sticky-beakage. I’ll bid you Good Afternoon.

The Rakes – ‘Work, Work, Work (Pub, Club, Sleep)
 
Football, eh?

After the all too familiar ‘pop’ of the over inflated England football, just a few short weeks ago, we start afresh; recast in the forge of adversity as world beaters. Our glorious new leader, fresh from spearheading Middlesboro’s assault on relegation, is setting about transforming an assembled squad of down-at-heel, underprivileged boys from the wrong side of the tracks, into a tight-knit, fearsome band of warriors in the mould of those legendary English heroes; Lord Nelson, Shaka Zulu and Prince Edward.

A new coach is complimented by a new captain who exemplifies the transformation from; lily-livered, sarong-clad, metrosexualists into the - hard as nails, sensible trousers, short back and sides, “Oi sunshine, you callin’ my pint a pooftah?” type menace, for which the nation has been waiting oh so long.

Tonight’s match is only a friendly occasion, to bed the players and the new manager in. Nevertheless, up and at ‘em eh lads?

They don’t like it up ‘em, what?

Actually, as our opponents are Greece, best scratch the above comment.

Dogs Die In Hot Cars – ‘I Love You ‘Cos I Have To’
 
Damocles said:
Pink Floyd - In The Flesh?
Click to expand...


Just borrowed Pulse from my daughter ... Despite the absence of Waters ..Its a real good Concert Flick ... Disc One starts off with a bang ... with Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Learning to Fly and High Hopes.. but slows down quite a bit in the middle ... then closes with a bang...Another Brick and One of these days ..
Disc two ... All of Dark Side, Wish you Were here(song), Comfortably Numb and Run like hell...
 
klaatu said:
Just borrowed Pulse from my daughter ... Despite the absence of Waters ..Its a real good Concert Flick ... Disc One starts off with a bang ... with Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Learning to Fly and High Hopes.. but slows down quite a bit in the middle ... then closes with a bang...Another Brick and One of these days ..
Disc two ... All of Dark Side, Wish you Were here(song), Comfortably Numb and Run like hell...
Click to expand...
Cool... I'll have to see if I can find me a copy to watch...

Fleetwood Mac - I'm So Afraid (live '97)
 
The English media have temporarily forgotten the trials and tribulations of terrorism for the day as the annual school results day is upon us, once again. More people passing than ever before, but they’re not getting any easier, oh no.

Anyway, the media love to send their cameras down to our centres of learning as those nervous pupils trek in to acquire their little brown envelopes containing the keys to their futures. It’s a familiar story. Adolescents struggling with the fiendishly difficult tasks of remembering their own names and standing up, learn that they have achieved the ‘gold standard’ of British education; joining the elite, alongside the other 96% of candidates. So what if you have to have remedial classes at university in order to get to grips with the concept of essays, spelling or knowledge? You’re a genius ‘cos you’ve got 3 A’s and can name every ‘Big Brother’ contestant of the last 3 years.

Sex Pistols – ‘Pretty Vacant’

What the media are really there for are the girls. Where else can they get away with lurid close ups of 17 year-old schoolgirls in seasonal low-cut tops, bouncing up and down in close proximity to several other 17 year-old schoolgirls in low-cut tops? That’s what it’s aal aboot, the dorty porvorts.
 
What-ho, fellow oblivionites.

As foretold by some trustworthy internet coves, today, August 22nd, is the end of the world. I know there’ll still be some doubters, sceptics and nay Sayers out there, steadfastly refusing to accept reality, but you won’t be laughing tomorrow, not least because it will never arrive, and you’ll be incapable of laughing at all because you’ll all be dead.

Having had some advance warning of impending global expiry, it has given the conscientious chap a change to put his affairs in order, to square those circles, if you will. So with credit limits not only reached but exceeded, a trail of exhausted prostitutes behind me and only the prospect of multiple life sentences ahead of me, we are ready to go…in your own time…whenever you’re ready.

The Ramones – ‘Here Today, Gone Tomorrow’

It’ll probably be this afternoon.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top