I believe it was, Public Enemy’s, Chuck D who would oft enquire - “What time is it?” A little strange as he need only have cast a roving eye toward one of the many watches, clocks and timepieces festooning his fellow band member, Flava Flav, in order to satisfy his temporary curiosity as to the precise time of day. Nevertheless, the question is valid and the answer is – ‘The Silly Season’.
Yes, that time of year when there is little to nothing for the assorted hacks and gin-soaked journos to fill their newspapers and bulletins.
Solution?
Let’s talk about fat people, or, to be more precise, people getting fatter.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/5282446.stm
‘13 million obese in England by 2013’ the British government shrieks.
Well? What’s wrong with that, I ask? British people are hardly known for their joyous outlook on life, grinning faces and a free-love attitude; despite what the latest teenage pregnancy figure may tell you. However, with the promise of 13 million extra plumpers, just a few hundred chocolate puddings away, Britain is changing.
Everyone knows fat men are happy, jolly souls. Okay, perhaps they are crying internally, but they are always willing to cheer up a dull office by performing a self-mocking wobble. Oh how they chortle as the shouts of “fatso”, “pregnant hippo” and “hideously deformed man-whale” reach a crescendo and small children point and laugh.
Huzzah! Jolly Britain will soon be a reality. The great Father Christmas shortage of the 1950’s will be a long forgotten nightmare and salad manufacturers will be cursed back to hell, where they belong.
And fat lasses have big tits. It’s a win/win situation, peoples.
Billy Bragg – ‘Honey, I’m a Big Boy Now’
