Good Morning.
Yesterday the UK saw thousands of school leavers receive their exam results, the key to their future career prospects. I can report excellent news - the pass rate has risen to a glorious 150%. "
that's, like..er...a 2.8% increase on last year's pass rate of 96%", one examiner pointed out before becoming distracted by the "
big shiny birdie in the sky" .
Just because an eighteen-year old cannot read, write, or add stuff up, does not mean they have not "worked hard" and thoroughly deserve their 'A' grade. Learning word-chains and number squiggles is why God made universities, isn't it?
Wait just a cotton pickin' minute, though. Perhaps, our school leavers now have some competition from the birds.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/6948446.stm
Yes, my friends, Alfred Hitchcocks was right.
The boffins in the lab set these crow chaps some pretty challenging tests and, by all accounts, they passed with flying colours (excellent punnage there, what?). The crows successfully manipulated a series of tools to gain access to their ultimate prize. "
At first they were just like ordinary crows, but after we showed them a documentary on Karl Rove the transformation was unbelievable." said Dr Flange of the Bird Psychology Institute
The crows achieved straight A's and are understood to be considering their futures after being offered places reading medicine at Oxbridge University.
'Ice Cream for Crow' - Captain Beefheart