What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?
- Thread starter charver
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charver
You lookin' at my pint?
I believe it was the great civil rights leader, Don King, who said, "I have a dream".
Well, Don, this may come as a shock to the system but you're not the only chap to settle down for a crafty catnap only for the brain weevils to do their crazy bidness, you know. There are countless books written on the subject of dream interpretation but, in this cove's eyes, the purchase of one of these tomes marks one out as following the way of the fool and, as Albert Einsteins used to say, "i pity the fool".
Unlike Don's famous dream, where he dreamt that Mississippi would be a nice place to live, mine was, at least, vaguely realistic. I won't regale you with every detail but suffice to say it culminated in a heated argument with an irate tuna who was most adamant i had shouted abuse at his heron tree. I suppose Sigmund Freuds would say it probably boils down to wanting to sleep with one's mother but, then again, he was a paranoid coke fiend who had no friends. Or is that me? This reality bidness is very confusing, no?
'Just a Dream' - AM60
Well, Don, this may come as a shock to the system but you're not the only chap to settle down for a crafty catnap only for the brain weevils to do their crazy bidness, you know. There are countless books written on the subject of dream interpretation but, in this cove's eyes, the purchase of one of these tomes marks one out as following the way of the fool and, as Albert Einsteins used to say, "i pity the fool".
Unlike Don's famous dream, where he dreamt that Mississippi would be a nice place to live, mine was, at least, vaguely realistic. I won't regale you with every detail but suffice to say it culminated in a heated argument with an irate tuna who was most adamant i had shouted abuse at his heron tree. I suppose Sigmund Freuds would say it probably boils down to wanting to sleep with one's mother but, then again, he was a paranoid coke fiend who had no friends. Or is that me? This reality bidness is very confusing, no?
'Just a Dream' - AM60
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
As i was a little overwhelmed by the ennui last night i decided to exercise the old thumb on the remote for a bout of channel surfing. I fondly remember the days when when the ordinary British household would have the choice of three, count 'em, three, channels to choose from.
Now, of course, we live in an age of a million billion channels, providing the working man with an endless parade of high-quality programming and guaranteed entertainment. Last night's feast for the eyes included, and i swear this is true, celebrity homosexualist netballer, John Amaechi, talking about Audi's whilst sitting in an Audi on the Audi channel (no, i've never heard of him either), which was nice.
Highlight of the evening was the top American cop/lawyer/scientist drama CSI:NYPD: Miami Law & Order. I can't say i'm hooked on this genre of televisual opium, but feel it is prudent to dip in now and again in order to scout out future Presidential candidates. Anyway it was a great show about a man meeting another man, the man killing the other man before some other men came and talked to some men about the man killing the man, then a woman talked to the man about the man and then she "nailed the asshole". It was great.
'God is in the TV' - 1984
Now, of course, we live in an age of a million billion channels, providing the working man with an endless parade of high-quality programming and guaranteed entertainment. Last night's feast for the eyes included, and i swear this is true, celebrity homosexualist netballer, John Amaechi, talking about Audi's whilst sitting in an Audi on the Audi channel (no, i've never heard of him either), which was nice.
Highlight of the evening was the top American cop/lawyer/scientist drama CSI:NYPD: Miami Law & Order. I can't say i'm hooked on this genre of televisual opium, but feel it is prudent to dip in now and again in order to scout out future Presidential candidates. Anyway it was a great show about a man meeting another man, the man killing the other man before some other men came and talked to some men about the man killing the man, then a woman talked to the man about the man and then she "nailed the asshole". It was great.
'God is in the TV' - 1984
Holding Out for a Hero. For Al Gore
Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
I the mountains neath the heavens above
Out where the lightning strikes the sea
I can swear that there's someone somewhere watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
and the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
Where's the great white Hercules to fight the rising odds?
Isn't there a white knight upon a fiery steed?
Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what i need
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
Somewhere after midnight
In my wildest fantasies
Somewhere just beyond my reach
There's someone reaching back for me
Racing on the thunder and rising with the heat
It's gonna take a Superman to sweep me off my feet
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
I the mountains neath the heavens above
Out where the lightning strikes the sea
I can swear that there's someone somewhere watching me
Through the wind and the chill and the rain
and the storm and the flood
I can feel his approach like a fire in my blood
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the end of the night
he's gotta be strong and he's gotta be fast
and gotta be fresh from the fight
I need a hero
I'm holding out for a hero till the morning light
He's gotta be sure and he's gotta be soon
And he's gotta be larger than life
Larger than life
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
"Hillary Clinton is just like Hitler" screeches a morally bankrupt man living a lie.
"Bush is worse than Hitler" comes the cry from a self-loathing, power hungry hypocrite.
Actually, although Hillary does have a similar moustache arrangement and George does have a predilection for military uniforms and surrounding himself with sycophantic lackeys, we are missing the point.
What was Hitler really like? Oh, we all know he was a little right wing but forget about Hitler the genocidal manic, for a moment, and consider Hitler the man. Once he slipped off the jackboots after a hard day signing death warrants, invading Poland and, perhaps, a little light dusting, how did the Fuhrer relax?
Music, beautiful music. That's how. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2211203.ece
Now we know what Adolf had on his 1940's iPod and the results are...how shall we say, surprising. Surprising as he liked nothing better than grooving on down to the ubermenchen themselves (that's not a punk band btw). Top of the pops for the Nazi pop picker: the Slavic schweinhunden comprising Borodin, Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov, that kosher fiddling funkster, Bronislaw Huberman and Mercury prize nominee, Amy Winehouse.
Shocking, i know, but just wait until they discover that Herman Goering used to be the king of Berlin's legendary underground Acid House scene, it'll blow their minds, man.
'I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor' - Arctic Monkeys
"Bush is worse than Hitler" comes the cry from a self-loathing, power hungry hypocrite.
Actually, although Hillary does have a similar moustache arrangement and George does have a predilection for military uniforms and surrounding himself with sycophantic lackeys, we are missing the point.
What was Hitler really like? Oh, we all know he was a little right wing but forget about Hitler the genocidal manic, for a moment, and consider Hitler the man. Once he slipped off the jackboots after a hard day signing death warrants, invading Poland and, perhaps, a little light dusting, how did the Fuhrer relax?
Music, beautiful music. That's how. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/europe/article2211203.ece
Now we know what Adolf had on his 1940's iPod and the results are...how shall we say, surprising. Surprising as he liked nothing better than grooving on down to the ubermenchen themselves (that's not a punk band btw). Top of the pops for the Nazi pop picker: the Slavic schweinhunden comprising Borodin, Tchaikovsky and Rachmaninov, that kosher fiddling funkster, Bronislaw Huberman and Mercury prize nominee, Amy Winehouse.
Shocking, i know, but just wait until they discover that Herman Goering used to be the king of Berlin's legendary underground Acid House scene, it'll blow their minds, man.
'I Bet That You Look Good On The Dancefloor' - Arctic Monkeys
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charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Today is the start of the football season and marks an end to the depression of the sporting interregnum.
Much like 80's pop diva 'Tiffany' i am rather conscious of being alone now.
"Are you excited imaginary friend #1?", say I.
"Yes, i am charver, i'm literally creaming my pants", replies imaginary friend #1.
"careful imaginary friend #1, semen is such a persistent stain", I interject.
"Don't worry, charver, as i have taken the precaution of purchasing a 'stain specific cleaning product designed for removing such fluids, having foreseen this exact situation some months past", the imaginary friend replies convolutedly.
"I should wager that it is a tad easier to foresee that when you are an imaginary image rather than a real-life bona fide human being. You'll never be a real boy no matter what that fecking cricket tells you, you hear me?", i respond in my brusque northern tones.
No, i don't really know what i'm talking about either. It's the footballing drug, you see. It has made my mind hurt.
'Start!' - The Jam
Much like 80's pop diva 'Tiffany' i am rather conscious of being alone now.
"Are you excited imaginary friend #1?", say I.
"Yes, i am charver, i'm literally creaming my pants", replies imaginary friend #1.
"careful imaginary friend #1, semen is such a persistent stain", I interject.
"Don't worry, charver, as i have taken the precaution of purchasing a 'stain specific cleaning product designed for removing such fluids, having foreseen this exact situation some months past", the imaginary friend replies convolutedly.
"I should wager that it is a tad easier to foresee that when you are an imaginary image rather than a real-life bona fide human being. You'll never be a real boy no matter what that fecking cricket tells you, you hear me?", i respond in my brusque northern tones.
No, i don't really know what i'm talking about either. It's the footballing drug, you see. It has made my mind hurt.
'Start!' - The Jam
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charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Remember the days: building dens in the woods, eating too many sweets, grazing a knee, oww it hurts mummy, kiss chase with the girls and leaving burning bags of dog shit on a neighbours step before running away quick-smart? Seems like only yesterday, doesn't it? Well, in my case that's because it was.
Ah, childhood. The best days of one's life...unless you were bullied, of course.
Anyway, if your parents were as tediously predictable, when charged with giving advice, as mine were, then you will be familiar with the phrase "If HE jumped off a cliff would you do it as well?". They really should get some new material, no? Especially in light of the new craze sweeping the nation, namely, Tombstoning.
Nothing to do with Doc Holidays and Wyatt Earps and nothing to do with doing some frottage in a graveyard (oh just ask Mr. Googles, you slovenly oaf). It is the practice of jumping off some high stuff, like cliffs and that, into the sea below.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dorset/content/articles/2007/08/13/tombstoning_feature.shtml
UK Population sixty million. 15 deaths from this so-called fun. I think the figures speak for themselves. There is only one thing for it - panic immediately. I plan to do a quick five minute panic this morning before a more in-depth session of futile anxiety this evening.
'Tombstone' - The Auteurs
Ah, childhood. The best days of one's life...unless you were bullied, of course.
Anyway, if your parents were as tediously predictable, when charged with giving advice, as mine were, then you will be familiar with the phrase "If HE jumped off a cliff would you do it as well?". They really should get some new material, no? Especially in light of the new craze sweeping the nation, namely, Tombstoning.
Nothing to do with Doc Holidays and Wyatt Earps and nothing to do with doing some frottage in a graveyard (oh just ask Mr. Googles, you slovenly oaf). It is the practice of jumping off some high stuff, like cliffs and that, into the sea below.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/dorset/content/articles/2007/08/13/tombstoning_feature.shtml
UK Population sixty million. 15 deaths from this so-called fun. I think the figures speak for themselves. There is only one thing for it - panic immediately. I plan to do a quick five minute panic this morning before a more in-depth session of futile anxiety this evening.
'Tombstone' - The Auteurs
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charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Yet more evidence of the globalist Zionist conspiracy.
(well, it saves someone else saying it)
LOL
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Nearly 200 poor buggers blown up in that there Iraq as the march toward victory continues a pace.
For the second time in two weeks Mattel recall millions of toys so contaminated that they couldn't even be sent to poor African kids.
Meanwhile people in stupid stripy shirts and red braces are running about shouting "Sell, sell, sell", sending the ordinary working man into massive debt, with only a pauper's grave to look forward to. As opposed to yesterday, when the very same people were running about shouting "Buy, buy, buy", sending the ordinary working man into massive debt, with only the prospect of selling his first-born to the butchery department of a multi-national hedge fund to look forward to.
Looking pretty bleak isn't it?
Wait, put down that razor, take your head out of that gas oven, cast aside that bumper bottle of omega-3 fish vitamins. Take a big drag on the cigarette of life and fill your lungs with the carcinogenic fumes of hope.
Best. Headline. Ever. - http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=337901&cc=5739
'Merry Happy' - Kate Nash
For the second time in two weeks Mattel recall millions of toys so contaminated that they couldn't even be sent to poor African kids.
Meanwhile people in stupid stripy shirts and red braces are running about shouting "Sell, sell, sell", sending the ordinary working man into massive debt, with only a pauper's grave to look forward to. As opposed to yesterday, when the very same people were running about shouting "Buy, buy, buy", sending the ordinary working man into massive debt, with only the prospect of selling his first-born to the butchery department of a multi-national hedge fund to look forward to.
Looking pretty bleak isn't it?
Wait, put down that razor, take your head out of that gas oven, cast aside that bumper bottle of omega-3 fish vitamins. Take a big drag on the cigarette of life and fill your lungs with the carcinogenic fumes of hope.
Best. Headline. Ever. - http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=337901&cc=5739
'Merry Happy' - Kate Nash
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Well, obviously, the football team, Young Boys, were relieved at having their new stadium, the Wankdorff, completed.
With the board's general obsession with top-tier Swiss football i, naturally, assumed everybody else would be happy to hear the news.
It's like you're suggesting there could be another meaning.