I have too much going on

Darla said:
LOL i am just kidding! you're totally skinny from what I've seen anyway. I don't think you need to even lose weight. Well, depending on just how addicted you've gotten to thai pad noodles- 1,200 calories an average plate. ;)
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honestly, if I let myself, I could easily eat like 2 plates in one day.
 
Epicurus said:
........

It still feels like a part of me is dead inside though. Knowing that I will never experience that kind of euphoria again hurts.

I wish I could do it without getting addicted, but I'm not strong enough and it has taken me a long time to realize that.
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That's why I stay away from stuff like that. I know I'd be addicted right away.
 
Troglodyte27 said:
I love sushi, but half price sushi? Day old bread / day old sushi...
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Its only on one night a week in a college town. Trust me, its not day old. the guy makes it right there infront of everyone. Tres bon!

And anyway, that's what my budget is from now on, so even if it was day old, oh well. Until I make more $$$ I have to deal with my trailer existence.
 
Epicurus said:
Mostly earthshattering poverty and sleepless, nauseous, shivering nights.

Friends and family wanted me to check into a Bradford House rehab center, but I didn't want something like that on my record.

Basically I just ran out of money, and within 24 hours of stopping I was going crazy.

It was only really bad for about the first few weeks though. It's gotten easier since then. At first, anything and everything reminded me of cocaine.

But now, I only occasionally get the urge to do it and I always force it away. I used to be much weaker mentally. Now I can sit and watch my friends blow lines without fiending for it, but it wasn't always that way.

It still feels like a part of me is dead inside though. Knowing that I will never experience that kind of euphoria again hurts.

I wish I could do it without getting addicted, but I'm not strong enough and it has taken me a long time to realize that.
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Impressive to kick it on your own. Especially if you are still around others doing lines. That takes tremendous strength of will. Thanks for sharing this.
 
LadyT said:
That's why I stay away from stuff like that. I know I'd be addicted right away.
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The worst is when you think you aren't addicted, but for some reason you can't wait to speed through the boring parts of your life to blow a line.

When I realized it was becoming a problem, I told myself I would cut back to just weekends.

I did that successfully for a couple of weeks, but I realized that I was just spending my weekdays praying for the weekend so I could do some more.

I didn't give a shit about my friends, girls, my job, or school.

I was pretty much a worthless junkie. This was recent too. As recently as December.

If I accomplish nothing else in my life though, I still have kicked a habit many people weren't able to kick.

It could have ended me at that pace. Even now I'm being treated for tachycardia brought on by excessive use.
 
Whether you get addicted or not depends also on how good your powder is.

I had tried shitty coke several times in highschool and honestly didn't see what the big fuss was about. It just made me tense and hyper.

In college I knew a guy who was selling it and he was happy to give me plenty of free samples at first.

I still remember one day I blew my first line of primo coke, and just thought to myself "So THIS is what the fuss is about."

All downhill from there though. I spent the next 7 months chasing that high, and ended up an addict because of it.
 
I've never been into the drug scene. I'd be too scared of getting caught and my mom finding out.

Spankings work.
 
LadyT said:
I've never been into the drug scene. I'd be too scared of getting caught and my mom finding out.

Spankings work.
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It's fun at first.

After a while though my nerves got so shot I couldn't enjoy it anymore.
 
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