What Song Are You Listening To, Right Now?
- Thread starter charver
- Start date
evince
Truthmatters
I have always had a soft spot for Ska
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Don't you just love those old "politically incorrect" jokes that the great old comedians used to tell? Those were the days when casual racism, sexism and homophobia were as fashionable as flared trousers and the world was a much better place (apart from Vietnam and all the other wars, obviously) Anyway here's one of my favourites.
Q. How many Pakistanis can you fit in a Mini?
A. It's obvious, four and possibly a small child.
(that was nicked off Bernard Righton, who you can look at on youtube if some tit would provide some sort of a moving picture connection type thing. Oh look, there's one now)
You see what i did there, eh? Led you to expect one thing while going in the opposite direction.
This is how i felt yesterday when i found out something astounding about your American Presidents. Now, for all i know, this may be common knowledge over there and you are already laughing at my stupidity, but i will persevere nonetheless. Did you know that since 1974 all but two of your Presidents have been sinister? Not in the way you're thinking, that would be no revelation at all would it? Here's the rub - they have all been left-handed, apart from Jimmy Carter and George W, although in fairness to him he's done well just to refrain from picking things up with his feet.
Yes, Clinton, Daddy Bush, Reagan and Ford were all lefties. John McCain and Barack Obama are also both left-handed. Failed Presidential candidates Bob Dole and Al Gore are both left-handed as are potential VP's John Edwards and Michael Bloomberg. Mighty suspicious, eh? (Disclaimer: If this turns out to be incorrect you can blame the Times of London)
I myself am ambidextrous, preferring to pen my drivel with the rightest of my hands but favouring dear Lefty for...well let's not go there. This is a family board after all.
'Going Left Right' - Department S
Q. How many Pakistanis can you fit in a Mini?
A. It's obvious, four and possibly a small child.
(that was nicked off Bernard Righton, who you can look at on youtube if some tit would provide some sort of a moving picture connection type thing. Oh look, there's one now)
You see what i did there, eh? Led you to expect one thing while going in the opposite direction.
This is how i felt yesterday when i found out something astounding about your American Presidents. Now, for all i know, this may be common knowledge over there and you are already laughing at my stupidity, but i will persevere nonetheless. Did you know that since 1974 all but two of your Presidents have been sinister? Not in the way you're thinking, that would be no revelation at all would it? Here's the rub - they have all been left-handed, apart from Jimmy Carter and George W, although in fairness to him he's done well just to refrain from picking things up with his feet.
Yes, Clinton, Daddy Bush, Reagan and Ford were all lefties. John McCain and Barack Obama are also both left-handed. Failed Presidential candidates Bob Dole and Al Gore are both left-handed as are potential VP's John Edwards and Michael Bloomberg. Mighty suspicious, eh? (Disclaimer: If this turns out to be incorrect you can blame the Times of London)
I myself am ambidextrous, preferring to pen my drivel with the rightest of my hands but favouring dear Lefty for...well let's not go there. This is a family board after all.
'Going Left Right' - Department S
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FUCK THE POLICE
911 EVERY DAY
I actually do read all of those.
And I've never posted a serious poem on this website. I'm not much of a poet.
And I've never posted a serious poem on this website. I'm not much of a poet.
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
In that case i shall cross your name off my list.
Come the revolution you shall be spared.
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
I'm left-handed, but I don't see how you can use it to pleasure yourself...
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Good Day.
I do hope that you all thoroughly enjoyed your festivities yesterday. I'm not too sure what you get up to on these occasions. If it were England we'd all just drink as much alcohol in as short a period of time as possible. However, we'd be celebrating independence from ourselves, at least until we'd consumed enough to forget what we were celebrating, and that would just be plain ridiculous. Anyway, i did see that the President spent part of his busy day being heckled by undesirables at some public event or other.
(there am a video and everything here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7491278.stm )
On a day when America was celebrating casting off the shackles of monarchical oppression and the founding of a nation where man's fundamental freedoms are enshrined in law, i found it heart-warming to witness the President reinforcing the spirit of those ideals when he exclaimed - "we believe in free speech in the United States of America" - as he watched the loud-mouthed Communist protesters being dragged away by some burly gentlemen in the pay of the State.
Thank your lucky stars you still have the freedom to be man-handled by government goons for saying things. If people are ever allowed to say the things they are thinking about in their heads out loud, then i fear that the terrorists have already won.
'World Shut Your Mouth' - Julian Cope
I do hope that you all thoroughly enjoyed your festivities yesterday. I'm not too sure what you get up to on these occasions. If it were England we'd all just drink as much alcohol in as short a period of time as possible. However, we'd be celebrating independence from ourselves, at least until we'd consumed enough to forget what we were celebrating, and that would just be plain ridiculous. Anyway, i did see that the President spent part of his busy day being heckled by undesirables at some public event or other.
(there am a video and everything here - http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/7491278.stm )
On a day when America was celebrating casting off the shackles of monarchical oppression and the founding of a nation where man's fundamental freedoms are enshrined in law, i found it heart-warming to witness the President reinforcing the spirit of those ideals when he exclaimed - "we believe in free speech in the United States of America" - as he watched the loud-mouthed Communist protesters being dragged away by some burly gentlemen in the pay of the State.
Thank your lucky stars you still have the freedom to be man-handled by government goons for saying things. If people are ever allowed to say the things they are thinking about in their heads out loud, then i fear that the terrorists have already won.
'World Shut Your Mouth' - Julian Cope
charver
You lookin' at my pint?
Have you ever had that feeling that you've experienced something before?
Have you ever had that feeling that you've experienced something before?
Deja vu, eh?
Anyway, it only seems like five minutes since Britain was last in the throes of a knife-crime epidemic, with high streets up and down the land rediscovering their love of advanced butchery techniques. It's all going off again and people are demanding nationwide curfews, the return of national service and instant imprisonment for people carrying knives. Of course, none of that will happen. What will happen is that everything will carry on pretty much as normal until the media find something else to talk about, like a lass with a bat in her bra or a sheep what lives in a house.
See, this is what happens when you ban people from shooting each other. The stabbing up and that, not the sheep living in a house bit. Anyway, enough of this disparate talk of death and sheep. I bring good news to the streets of America. The Belgians are coming.
Yes, your terrible Budweiser beer company (Anhauser-Busch for you corporate brewing dunces) is being taken over by the Belgians, specifically InBev, who you may know better as "them foreigners what make Stella Artois" - the drink of choice for the football hooligan and the violent psychopath alike.
Rather unwisely, Hector chose to make his a Bud
With any luck they will work their magic on the, frankly lacklustre, Budweiser brand by changing its name to something which wasn't stolen from a vastly superior Czech beer, making it taste less akin to quaffing from the outflow pipe of a chemical plant and introducing the brewers of "Bud" to the concept of alcohol, thereby expanding their market outside the core homosexual and small children demographic.
Cheers, me dears.
'Roll Out the Barrel' - Milburn
Have you ever had that feeling that you've experienced something before?
Deja vu, eh?
Anyway, it only seems like five minutes since Britain was last in the throes of a knife-crime epidemic, with high streets up and down the land rediscovering their love of advanced butchery techniques. It's all going off again and people are demanding nationwide curfews, the return of national service and instant imprisonment for people carrying knives. Of course, none of that will happen. What will happen is that everything will carry on pretty much as normal until the media find something else to talk about, like a lass with a bat in her bra or a sheep what lives in a house.
See, this is what happens when you ban people from shooting each other. The stabbing up and that, not the sheep living in a house bit. Anyway, enough of this disparate talk of death and sheep. I bring good news to the streets of America. The Belgians are coming.
Yes, your terrible Budweiser beer company (Anhauser-Busch for you corporate brewing dunces) is being taken over by the Belgians, specifically InBev, who you may know better as "them foreigners what make Stella Artois" - the drink of choice for the football hooligan and the violent psychopath alike.
Rather unwisely, Hector chose to make his a Bud
With any luck they will work their magic on the, frankly lacklustre, Budweiser brand by changing its name to something which wasn't stolen from a vastly superior Czech beer, making it taste less akin to quaffing from the outflow pipe of a chemical plant and introducing the brewers of "Bud" to the concept of alcohol, thereby expanding their market outside the core homosexual and small children demographic.
Cheers, me dears.
'Roll Out the Barrel' - Milburn
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Dixie - In Memoriam
New member
Sheryl Crow, Natalie Maines, Chrissie Hynde, Sarah McLauchlan with Eric Clapton & Keith Richards on guitar- Tombstone Blues
Minister of Truth
Practically Perfect
Albuquerque - Weird Al